Seven Down (sigh) . . . One to Go! . . . BOOYAH!

In filling out multiple applications, it has come to my attention that I have survived 21 science, 5 math, 5 chemistry, and 42 total classes, as well as 17 labs and way too many papers, presentations, and exams. Today, semester number 7 of my undergraduate career has come to a close, and not a moment too soon! With only 9 hours needed to graduate from the University of Tennessee, it’s hard to believe I’ve been here for almost 4 years. I never imagined I would be where I am today.

In looking back at how much I have been blessed this past semester, it is extremely hard to put into words all the great things God has done and continues to do! I so enjoyed working with the Lady Vol soccer team, and am thankful I can continue that work next semester. God is really at work there and has allowed me to see and be part of an amazing work of His.

I have officially been invited to complete step 2, filling out a secondary application, for both LMU and VCOM medical schools. Unfortunately though I haven’t had time to complete them yet due to finals and wrapping up the semester. I am still waiting to hear from UT Memphis, MeHarry School of medicine, ETSU and VT. These are all of the MD programs and they are a bit more swamped at the moment.

So, for now I will enjoy not being in school and knowing next semester holds an easy caseload. The little ‘academic work’ I will have over the break will be filling out secondary applications. Other than that I’m just waiting: waiting to hear from medical schools, waiting for next semester, waiting to graduate and start the next leg of the journey. And I am very content with that. I can be patient and peaceful in the waiting, knowing my future is set, and almighty God controls my destiny!

Step One: COMPLETE

Today marked a sad end to the lady vol soccer season. For all the hard work and great things they have done all year I hate to see them walk away in defeat. Yet, I know many more great things are coming from these women and I cannot wait to see the amazing things they do and become! I am honored to have been a part of this season and would not trade it for anything!

On a different note, this past week God has allowed to me to get through the first major step towards medical school. I have now officially submitted my application to AMCAS. This large application has been sent to VT, ETSU, UT Memphis and Meharry Medical schools. Once these schools review it, depending on whether or not I pass their initial screening, they will send me an email with their secondary application. Once that is complete if I pass the second screening I will go for an interview and then a final decision will be made. So there is still a very long journey ahead before I know if I get into a medical school or not but at least I am now officially on that journey!

In addition to applying to AMCAS, I am also applying to AACOMAS, which is the same thing as AMCAS but for osteopathic schools. I will send that application in during the first week or so of December. That application will be for LMU, VCOM, and the osteopathic school in West Virginia.

So needless to say there is much that lays ahead, still many questions and unknowns. But the simple fact that I am here now where I am is so amazing, I know for sure it will all work out exactly that it should!

Broken Vessel

I have wrestled for a while about sharing this latest chapter in the life of Janie simply because it is so personal and not very pretty. But it’s life and if anyone can learn from it or use it to deepen their walk with Christ than it’s worth it. And I have a feeling I’m not the only one out there struggling like this. My spiritual battle has always been in my mind. On the outside I may look like I have things half-way together but truth is war is waging in my head. For a long time I never knew why I struggled so much keeping my thoughts on Christ or even on good, true things, I always assumed it was sin and I just wasn’t strong enough to give it to Christ completely. The more I learned through science classes in school I came to realize all those thoughts were symptoms of depression. Wait . . . what? . . . Me? That makes no sense. . . but does it? Then came the guilt of well if I’m really a Christian I shouldn’t be depressed, I have Christ and that’s all that matters. Then I questioned my salvation and if Christ really dwelt in me. Every time I would give in to a dark thought it brought even more guilt because I have absolutely NO REASON to be depressed! God has richly blessed my life in so many areas and He is doing amazing things. HOW IN THE WORLD could I be depressed! But all this reasoning with myself, all the self-talk to ‘get over it’ none of it made the war in my head any easier to win. Even while God was doing God-sized things both in me and around me, I still dwelt on any and every negative unless I could catch myself before it began. Normal everyday things stressed me out like none other because I automatically saw my imperfections and failures in them. All the while knowing that God has called me to medical school of all places where failure is not an option and all I can think is ‘Oh God I can not do this alone!.’ Thankfully though, preparing for medical school has taken me through classes dealing with both body and mind and how they interact. I learned that depression can be cause by a chemical imbalance of the neurotransmitters in our brains. But that’s a lesson for another day. Longer story shorter, this is what I have come to realize by the grace of God. Lots of people struggle with depression no matter what their lives look like. For many of us it is brought on by a chemical imbalance in our brains that we were born with. So here is where the hard part is. Each of those temptations to dwell on the negative, to see only imperfections, or what ever your dark thought may be is not the sin. It becomes sin when I give in to it and choose to dwell on those thoughts instead of shooting them down with scripture and truth. Everyone has those decision times about thoughts; it’s just that some, like me, just have them way more often. So in light of this extremely long introduction, I would like to say that praise be to God He has been doing some incredibly awesome things. I see Him at work around me in so many places and it is so exciting! The crazy part is that despite who I am and how much of a struggle everyday has been for me mentally, He still chooses to place me, of all people, right in the midst of what He is doing, and allowed me to be a part of it! It absolutely blows my mind to see how God is using this broken vessel that I am! I can honestly echo what Paul said when he says he is the chief of sinners! Wow, I cannot comprehend how He still loves me, how He continues to pour out His grace upon me, and how He continues to bless me! Oh God I am so unworthy, but your grace, oh your grace is sufficient! My life, my daily struggle with depression is living proof of the power of Christ’s blood. And everyday it is a reminder to me, that ‘it is not I who live but Christ in me!’ One of my favorite quotes is by John Newton, it says “These two things I know, I am a great sinner, and Christ is a great savior.” And to that I shout AMEN! If God can use a broken, pitiful, weak, depressed vessel like me, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt He can use you.

Divine Appointment

Mondays are my super long days. I have class from 9am until 8pm with all of 2 short breaks. After class is FCA and so it has become extremely hard for me to stay another 2 hours on campus to attend. This afternoon I received a text from one of the FCA leaders. She said the leadership team was going to Montgomery Village tonight to hang out with some of the high school kids there and talk with them. She asked if I could speak to them about anything that was on my heart. Honestly, I didn’t want to, I hadn’t been having that great of a day and definitely did not ‘feel’ filled with the Spirit by any means to talk to anyone about Christ. But they were leaving at 7:30 before I would be out of class and so I thought I had dodged that bullet. Well I went on about my day and at the end of my last class we had a quiz, so I finished it and left. I had no idea what time it was or anything. As I walk out of the building, the car in front of me stops and the window rolls down. It was my FCA leader on her way to Montgomery Village. She said hey Janie are you coming with us we’re just now leaving. Well, I didn’t think I could say no this time so I hopped in and off we went. When we get there, she turned to me and said, um so will you share something, maybe about your trip we don’t have anyone else. So I said yes not having a clue what to share but felling as though I should. Long story shorter, I ended up sharing with about 15 high school kids about the Samaritan Woman and how no matter where we come from, what we’ve done, how pretty or ugly, how athletic or nerdy we are, that we are all sinners. In God’s eyes we are all equally lost and in need of a savior. But that at the same time, God doesn’t care where we are from or what we’ve done or anything that we can come to Him for forgiveness, and once we are forgiven and we are His that our identity is in Him and nothing else. I honestly have no idea where that message came from other than the Spirit Himself. I was definitely not feeling it, but am just so thankful that God works despite me! He wanted me there and chose to use me even though I wasn’t walking with Him today as I should have been and even though I really had had a bad attitude about the whole ting up until that point.. What a blessing that nothing about our relationship with Christ is based on works, it is ALL by grace. Wow, praise God!

Contentment

This weekend I had the pleasure of spending time with some of my Zimbabwe team members. We all met in DC to surprise our team leader for her birthday. Its crazy how close we have become through only the one trip to Africa. A 9 hour bus ride on Friday there and a return 9 hour ride back on Sunday was so worth the short time we had together! I am the youngest member of the group by a few years and they love to remind me of it. I just honestly am so thankful that God allowed me to meet each of them! I sat at dinner tonight wondering how in the world I was in the company of such amazing people! The things that God is doing through them are, well God sized big! The opportunities and doors He is opening to them, to us, continues to completely amaze me. Actually, it is so much, and so awesome, I struggle knowing God has called me to medical school. I would be content right now to drop out of school and work with them the rest of my life! I long to become even an understudy of the people in my company tonight. I long to know the cultures they do, understand how to reach the world like they do. I have so much to learn and so much maturing to do. It is easy for me to get frustrated looking at so much more schooling ahead of me before I can move over-seas, but I guess it will take 7 more years here for me to prepare for where God wants me to go. Tonight, I would leave right now and go wherever God said. Tonight, I would go to the most dangerous places, most uncomfortable. I would leave everything here to go. But God hasn’t called me there tonight, as much as I would love to drop everything and leave. Right now, He has called me to Knoxville TN, to the university of Tennessee, to the women’s soccer team, and the Iraqi community there. The mission field in front of me is ripe for harvest and God has been gracious enough to drop me in the middle of it. But my heart, my heart is over-seas and longs to be with people of another nation. My heart longs to reach the unreached, every tongue, every tribe, every people and every nation. But first I must reach my people and my nation. As much as I love being around these amazing people, laughing together, and hearing their stories, at the same time it is so hard for me! I know the opportunities in front of them are SO BIG and I get SO excited for them, but that’s not for me right now. I need to learn to cheer them on from the sideline of their game, while I faithfully play in my own; even if theirs looks like more fun. I don’t like it, not right now at least. Don’t get me wrong I love working with the soccer team and I love the Iraqis, it’s just hard for me to not jump in on what is right in my face speaking my heart language. I pray I will learn to set myself aside. Life is not about me and what I want, ever. So why would this be any different? I need to be content with where I am in life and glorify God to the best of my ability right where I am. I pray I will leave the future to Him and focus only on what He has laid in front of me. Maybe one day He will allow me to be apart of what He is starting now in body, but I know that I can at least join in prayer with them and hold the ropes as they go where I cant. I praise Him for allowing me to be where I am, I praise Him for what He is doing all over the world, I praise Him for allowing me to know these people, and I praise Him for His sovereignty in all of our lives!

The little Things

This morning I woke up on my day off to watch Andrew's cross country race. He did well, finishing in 3rd just not as well as we had hoped. But I'm hoping this will make him hungry for a win the rest of the season. On the drive back to my parents house he and I got in my truck rolled down the windows and turned our favorite music up as loud as we wanted. We drove down hardin valley drive just enjoying life. Then I had a flash back to when I was much younger. I was riding in the car with my dad and Andrew with the windows down and the three of us were singing at the top of our lungs. I remember thinking I couldn't wait for the day when I had my own truck with little sideways seats in the back and could drive with the windows down blaring my music all I wanted to. And now probably 15 or so years later I am enjoying doing just that. And it occurred to me then that it really is these little things that make life so fun. The Lady Vol soccer team won again last night and moved to 7-1 the best record they've had in a long time. I have three tests next week but none that require a whole lot of studying.

The Next Chapter . . .

I realize growing up is normal and eventually it happens to everyone whether they want it to or not. I have enjoyed passing different checkpoints throughout my life and the wisdom that comes with them. I really disliked my first two years of college even though I really love learning, but once I settled into a routine and actually met a few people I realized it wasn't so bad after all. My junior year was great. I had great classes, great friends, and life felt right even though I was in really really hard classes. But I knew that eventually I would be going to medical school which meant moving out and being thrown in the hardest level of schooling possible. Therefore, knowing myself and how I really do not adjust to change very well, I decided to get the moving out part over with. That way maybe I could be a little more adjusted to life on my own before being thrown into medical school. My hope was that if I move in with a really good friend and stayed busy with my normal stuff at my normal college with normal life in Powell only 20 minutes away then maybe, just maybe, I would make it. Today marks a little over one week of Janie's life on her own. And so far its going rather well. I just have to keep my mind in check and not let it wonder off to all the 'what if's.' So my prayer for me this year, is not necessarily to make it through all my classes (they're all a piece of cake compared to organic), but to make it to the place in my relationship with Christ that I know He is my everything. I want to desire Him and only Him. I want to be so consumed by Him that no matter the circumstances (with family/not with family, with friends/not with friends, hard classes/ easy classes) that He is all I lean on and draw my strength from. I have a head knowledge of God, but I want to know Him intimately like never before. That is the journey I am on this year, more so than trying to get into med school or learning to live on my own. So lets see where this chapter takes me . . .

The Sequel

Today we present on the center for sport peace and society in front of the board of advisers for the dean of my college. The response was so much better than we had anticipated and they really seemed to buy into our ideas. I really feel they are behind us now and we can really move forward with raising support to make it a reality. Our next move is to make our idea public and get it out there as much as possible. Then, hopefully, God will provide the money needed to turn our ideas into a reality. I really believe huge incredible things will one day come of this and that gets me super pumped!

The beginings of something BIG!

This afternoon I had the honor of speaking at a luncheon to raise support for the Center for Sport, Peace, and Society. We are trying to create a center on campus that would be an extension of what we are already doing as far as sport and peace building. Our hopes are to expand our service learning course with the refugees to include more departments on campus and hopefully eventually have the opportunities for study abroad using sport to help in different areas of the world. The luncheon today was our way of getting the information about the center out and in the hands of people who can make it happen. It went so well, and two members of the audience openly voiced their support and encouraged others to jump in fast. I really believe amazing things can and will come of this. I am so thankful God has allowed me to be a part of it! I have so many moments where I am in awe of what He is doing, and I seriously wonder how in the world I ended up in the middle of it! God has been so gracious to drop me here in the midst of something great. if anyone would like to know more about the center and what it is or will do please just ask. I would love to share more with each of you!

It is now my second week of school. Honestly I have been rather bored in my classes. I always thought it would be a good idea to take all my hard classes first and save the easy ones for Sr. year. Well, that just means the easy ones are even easier since you've already learned most of the material in the hard classes. My biology 140 classes spent almost an hour going over electrons, protons, and neutrons and the bonds they create to make molecules. I mean it is a freshman level class, but for someone who just finished a year's worth of organic chemistry I could have spend that time doing much more meaningful things. My other classes are going well, none are hard but I'm hoping they will present a little more of a challenge than my biology class. I really don't want my brain to turn to mush! Outside of class, working with the soccer team is great! I still only know a few names but I 'm having fun and don't mind being there all the time. Many doors have already been opened for some great conversations and I know God has me here to be a constant reflection of His glory! This Weekend we are hosting Florida, Texas Tech, and UCLA. There's going to be alot of soccer going on! It's going to be fun!

And life goes on . . .

Today started the beginning of my senior year of college. I think it would mean more if it were actually my last year of school instead of my last year of undergrad. Its hard to get excited when I still have at least 7 more years of school beyond UT. It hasn't even been a week since I arrived home from Zimbabwe, and I have already jumped head first into athletic training and school. Yesterday I sat on the side of the Lady Vol soccer field watching our girls practice in one of the best women's soccer facilities in the nation. They all had matching cleats, socks, shorts, and practice jerseys. Only a week ago I had watched as girls only a little younger then they had played barefoot on a hole-infested field.They had no jerseys or cleats with which to play. They were only content that they had the chance to play. You know, with this being my fourth trip to Africa I thought I wouldn't really get culture shock. I mean I've seen this kind of poverty before but every time I hate coming home to what this American culture has become. Honestly, I think it hurts the most this time around. I don't want to be here caught up in everyday life. It's really hard for me to focus on school and helping with the soccer team. Well, it's really hard for me to even think right now. But, life goes on and God has me here right now for a reason. No matter how much my heart aches, I have to refocus on my mission field here. Please pray that I would be faithful to renew my mind daily, or even hourly if needed. That I would take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and give Him complete control.

Tree of Life

Church in Africa is rather different than church in the U.S. For starters, if you want people to show up by 10 you should tell them 9, and then just plan on having a late lunch because there is no telling when you'll be done. We prepared for a 2 and a half hour service where I would lead a few songs and Sarah our leader would share a message from Exodus. The rest of the time would be filled with any songs they wanted to teach us or just singing together. This was our plan, but God had something else in mind. When we pulled up in our massive vehicle, the whole village knew we were there, and the children came running. Our service was full of children with a few adults and some of the girls we were there to work with. We started singing some children's Bible songs and then decided to redo the message to better accommodate the number of children there. Sarah told of Noah's ark and had the children act it out as she told it. She then explained the message and meaning behind the story. After church, we tried to just play more with the children, but as we got our balls and equipment out, some of the men in the village confronted us angry because they were not given balls or anything. So we put the equipment up and just talked and hung out with the children. With Monday came our first official day of camp with the girls. Our theme for the day was how Christ accepts us just as we are. We opened camp with a few ice breaker games. We then played crazy kickball and a version of ultimate Frisbee. Throughout the day we gave them 3 verses about how God accepts us when we come to Him. Sarah told of the Samaritan woman and then we broke off into small groups to discuss the story and what it meant. We talked about how they didn't have to clean up their lives in order to come to God. That it didn't matter what their past looked like, or what they've done or anything. We also talked about how we should treat the outcasts in our own communities. These girls all come from the township of Hatcliff. It is considered the slum of Zimbabwe. They are considered the outcasts and looked down on even more so because they are women and they play sports. Everywhere they turn they face opposition. It really surprised me though that so many of them already knew Christ and could quote verses to us and refer to scripture for many of our conversations. Their leaders have done a great job pointing them towards Christ and it was a joy to see it! Our second day of camp consisted of volleyball, softball, and basketball. They had a blast and so did we! That afternoon, we had them sit down to each draw a tree. The next day at camp we talked them trough different parts of it. For example, the roots represented their family and background. They had to write down names of family members and where they lived. The branches were people in their lives that influence them. We talked about how sometimes people are bad influences and need to be cut down. The fruit was dreams or talents, and they drew bugs to represent things that eat away at those dreams. We also talked about how we must have a relationship with God and feed that relationship in order to grow and produce fruit. This was our last day with these girls. It went by so fast but we were still able to build relationships and lift the name of Christ higher together. That afternoon we held a closing ceremony for them. Each of the coaches spoke and several of the girls mothers and grandmothers. It was amazing that so many relatives came. The parents are usually not very involved in their children's lives, but one of the coaches went to each house inviting the families. Many of the girls live with grandparents or aunts and uncles. It was very rare to hear of one who had both parents alive. So many had parents who had died. It was great to hear from their families. That day we gave them shorts and gift bags. We left all of our equipment and spent a good hour saying goodbye. This trip was much shorter than any of us wanted, but I know God was glorified through what he allowed us to do there. With every chance we poured out His love on girls who needed it more than ever. Thank you to all those who joined us in prayer. Please continue to lift them up and pray God will draw them closer to Himself and reach their community through them.

Rewind

After about 30 hours of traveling I touched down in Knoxville again. Before I jump back in to reality I want to pause and rewind to spotlight the events of my journey to Zimbabwe. When we arrived in Harare, my heart almost jumped out of me with one breath of crisp African air. It was finally real. I was finally back in Africa! My team consisted of other women with my same passions through which lifelong friendships were made. When we arrived at our dorms we unpacked and then quickly re-packed for the 5 day journey ahead of us. We drove the next day to Antelope Park where we had our safari drive and were able to walk with lions and play with elephants. Throughout the day I was amazed by God’s creation. Everywhere I turned He seemed to show Himself in a more awesome way. Our second day at the park we left early to head to Mutare Zimbabwe. Two of our team members had been corresponding with a family there for about 8 years and we were going to try and surprise them. The drive took about 7 hours and when we arrived in our massive vehicle all the school children ran out of the school yards to chase us. We felt as though we were in a movie! We stopped at the church there and the pastor was there waiting with the mother of the family. She was so sweet and could not believe that Sarah and Jackie were there, in the flesh, to see her! She wept and jumped, spilling over with pure joy. We went to the schools to pick up her children and headed to their house. Their township was one that the government had destroyed during ‘operation trash out’. However to our surprise, the government had built housse there for the people they had displaced. Fortunately our family lived in one of these two room houses. We pulled out a few balls and just began playing with any of the children, teens or adults who were around and would play with us. After a while we loaded up and went back to the church to do the same thing there. Pulling out a ball in the middle of hundreds of African children creates chaos rather quickly, we came to find out. But, it created a chance to meet and love on the children of that community through it. Before leaving we had a prayer service at the church with the children and some adults there and sang a lot. It was refreshing to see a church there that was started and run by locals. That night we stayed at a placed called drifters. The houses there were rather nice for Africa, however there was very little electricity and all our meals were made by campfire. That night we had an amazing conversation just our team. Jackie shared how she and her husband came to know the Lord and then I followed with how He has been guiding and directing my life lately. The next day we traveled to Tree of Life. We arrived at Tree of Life that night and settled into our rooms just before the girls arrived. Around 5 that night, two vans full of 34 girls came rolling into camp. As girls poured out of the vans hugs, laughter, tears, and faces full of smiles overwhelmed the scene. Together we sang, danced and played games until they made us go to bed. The next day we started with a run through the park and then began team building activities. We all cheered each other on through rock walls, and high and low ropes courses. The next day, Saturday, we drove to Hatcliff where the girls live to play with them and the children there. Unlike the government houses in Mutare, Hatcliff was never rebuilt. The people there worked hard to find anything they could to make homes for themselves. As we turned into the township, we passed by the first of many houses made of plastic tarps. As we drove by, a mother and three children ran out of the house to see what all the commotion was about. We got out a few balls and just began playing with all the children there. We sang and told them of God’s love. The amount of red clay covering my white long sleeve shirt was evidence to the amount of fun we and the children had. That night I found a small red hand print on the lower back of my shirt. I wanted to never wash it just to have that hand print. That night we were all exhausted but full of joy as we headed to bed. We had to prepare for the church service we were expected to give the next morning back in Hatcliff Township. And that was it, the first week in Zimbabwe. It all seemed to go by so fast and yet so slowly. We had done so much, but had just begun building relationships with the girls. So much more was to come, and God had already shown Himself awesome in so many ways. His love was poured out in abundance in two very needy townships and much more was still to come.

Broken

Today I heard form our Zimbabwe team leader who arrived there on Tuesday. She informed us of the weather, food, and what our living conditions would be like, all of which made me almost explode with excitement! She then began to share with us about her conversations with one of our hosts, Titsie. Titsie told her some of the horrific stories from 2007 when the gvt started "operation trash out" where they tried to rid Zimbabwe of its "trashy people." The place my team and I will be staying served as a refuge for many trying to escape the soldiers. She told of people whose hands, arms, and legs had been chopped off by machetes and one women who was burned from the waste down. My team is staying in Harare the capitol city where healing from this tragedy is more evident. However, the township where we will be working was one that was completely wiped out and still struggling. A local Zimbabwean even said it is hard for her to go there and she warned we may have trouble sleeping after we see the devastation. So many countries in Africa share these same stories. It can be overwhelming to think of the problems world-wide. However, for now I have been called to help bring healing to this township. Please pray that our God who heals would pour out His mercy on these broken people! Pray that through the little we do in sports or crafts or games, that Christ would sine through and bring them hope of a life worth living serving Him!

The fork in the road

As some of you may or may not know, this past year I have felt God calling me to go to medical school. Two days before classes were to start last fall I sat in front of my computer agonizing over the decision to completely change my class schedule to include the dreaded organic chemistry. After much prayer I redid my entire schedule. I cannot fully express the blessings that rained down after that night. Changing my schedule put me in a class that worked with Iraqi refugees. (But this story will have to wait because it brought so many more blessings and opportunities!) Even though I had to sit through an organic class, I knew I was supposed to be there and that gave me a confidence and joy I had not had before. I took two of the most difficult classes that semester: Organic Chemistry I and Human Physiology. I figured if God could get me through both of those together than maybe He really did want me to go to medical school. Looking back, that was by far my best and favorite semester. I made it though with a 3.95 GPA, and an A- in organic.

That Christmas break I went round and round in my head about medical school. Was I really supposed to go? I mean God did help me soar through those classes and I felt His blessing on everything I did. But really, medical school? I mean that's 8 more years of school, and I really just want to move over-seas anyways. I mean I can be a missionary and help a lot of people without 8 more years of school, right? Well, again with much prayer and agony, I signed up for organic chemistry II, and ordered an MCAT study book. Oh, the MCAT how I dreaded thee. I was really hoping it wouldn't get to that, however.

The semester started and I was gritting my teeth through every organic II class. I basically felt like, "fine God I'll do it, but I'm NOT happy about it." Then one Sunday I sat in my life group and a missionary was recalling when God called her to the mission field. She said she remembered getting to Mexico and seeing where she and her family would be living and just sobbing. She said she just had to cry out to God, "I'm doing this because you called me to it, but I do not want to." She then began to share with us that it's ok if we don't want to do what God has called us to, we just need to pray that He changes our heart. That's what I began praying and it did not take long before God answered.

I came home one night and found my father waiting for me. As I stepped in the door he began to share with me statistics he had read about Afghanistan. He said the infant mortality rate was something like 75% because the Muslim women are not allowed to see male doctors. That was it. That's all I heard and I knew I had to become a doctor. I have know that God called me over-seas, I have known that He called me to the forgotten people who no one wants to go to, but in that moment I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that He had called me to be a physician.

It is now July and I am heading in to my Senior year of college. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would be applying to medical school at this stage in my life. I have taken the MCAT and although I did not do extremely well on it, I did receive a score high enough to get into the school I am looking at. I have visited Edward Via College of Osteopathic Medicine and fell in love with it. It looks for globally minded students and takes 9 medical mission trips a year. I feel as though this school was created just for me. I am still looking at and may visit a few other schools, and am obviously praying about where God wants me. So until next semester I will not know for sure where I will end up.

Looking back at just the events of the past year, I am blow away by what God has done in my life. It is my prayer that He will receive all glory for what He has done and will do through the lump of clay that I am.