Remember the opening scenes of “Captain America: the First Avenger?” A young, small, skinny Steve Rogers tries to enlist in the army under various names and gets denied over and over until a doctor decides to take a chance on him. This doctor eventually goes on to experiment on him and make him into the taller, stronger, superhuman Captain America. Well, though my circumstance are quite different I have found myself felling quite like I imagine the small version of Steve Rogers felt. I’ve heard stories of men trying to enlist and being rejected even in the midst of world war II due to their age or medical conditions. And today I feel like I can relate on some level. For the past 7 years of my life, no really much longer, I have been studying and training to be a physician. Last year I spent two and a half months working in a pediatric ICU learning to run ventilators and became decent at it. Then I went to Kenya and helped run a pediatric ward, PICU and NICU. Did it stretch me, you bet! Yet, when the war comes I find myself on the sidelines, in the reserves. I never could have anticipated how unsettled and frustrated it would make me feel. But knowing that I COULD help, like I have the skills and the knowledge to actually help where it is really needed and matters, but I’m at home on my couch watching and praying. Why am I here you may ask. Not because I have been treating patients and am now quarantined, but rather as a sports medicine fellow I have been deemed non-essential medical personnel and sent home. And there’s the rub. I used to be essential, and I complained about it, but now that I’m not . . .
I should be thankful. I don’t have to be on the front lines at risk and now I have all this time to do all the things I’ve been putting off (that I’m having a hard time coming up with now). So, why have I’ve been so upset since I received that phone call yesterday? Angry, frustrated, hurt. Yes, I know there is definitely pride in there. I don’t like being called non-essential, period. But even before that label, I was itching to get back into the hospital and do whatever I could. I had already emailed people to let them know I could come in if needed or cover if people were sick or quarantined. If ever there was a war that I was made to fight, this would be it and I want to fight it head on. Like send me to New York with PPE in hand and let me at it!
And there’s the other rub. No Janie, you were made to fight a much more important war. The stakes are much higher and eternity weighs in the balance instead of simply life or death. Though it is fiercely waging right now, it will not end until you go home. It may not be as glamorous to fight and it may not ever be in the lime light, but the impact made there lasts an eternity. Well, that puts me in my place real fast.
I think it’s safe to say we are all to some degree “walking on eggshells.” We have never faced anything like this in our lifetime. Our spoiled little selves are so soft we don’t know what to do. It is rather tempting to be anxious, or to complain, or to be angry. Yet, I think we all to some degree also know that this is an incredible opportunity. God is moving. We know this is not the apocalypse- we (Christians) know what that will look like and it’s not this. Rather this is what the Bible would call ‘birth pangs.’ So, if we know it’s not the end of the world then it is safe to assume that many and probably most of us will come through this alive. With the moral decline of our culture we are more than deserving of this and much worse honestly. Why would God bless America right now? If you ask me we deserve quite the opposite, yet this does not really have the intensity (yet) of when His wrath is poured out (like Sodom and Gomorrah). If anything it more resembles to me one of the plagues God sent on Egypt. God’s judgment yes, but also in a way to give time for repentance (that ultimately did not happen resulting in His wrath- the death of the first born).
In speaking with colleagues and friends around the US and world, we all are concerns about the pandemic, but more so what God is doing in the midst of it. What if God is giving us an opportunity to repent? And I’m not just talking about abortion and marriage and so forth. But showing us our idolatry for sports, comfort, physical fitness, finances etc. When you take it all away He is showing us what we have left. I know I have been convicted for sure. When your investments and savings are dwindling, when you lose your job, have to move back in with your parents, when the government doesn’t have a solution, nor do the smartest scientists and physicians in the world, when it all fails (like literally no human solution) where is your security and hope? I think this is what God is giving us time to see and figure out.
So, with that being said how are you fighting in this war? Where is your hope? I can tell you there is a secure, steadfast, unmovable hope and foundation. His name is Jesus Christ! He is giving you and me a chance to remove all the distractions (except maybe the kids- sorry) and press into Him, to know Him. As Christians, be strengthened each day from the WORD and in prayer and then look for opportunities to pour that out into people around you. Check on your neighbors and ask how you can pray for them. Check on your single mom friends and see if you can watch the kids for a while to give them a break. Write letters of encouragement, buy someone’s groceries who lost their job, and be available, always ready to give a defense when people ask you why you have hope right now. The Light shines brightest when it is darkest. My prayer is that God would awaken His church to the real war we are fighting, that we would put on our armor every day and fight. Fight for our families, our churches, our cities, our country. Science, government stimulus, medicine, the stock market none of these things are truly going to save us. None of them truly bring security. And so, my friend, where is your hope? If you find yourself with the realization that you have a false sense of security and lack true lasting hope I would love nothing more than to talk to you about how you can have hope, true hope that never fades. And for those of us who know this hope, who are secure, stop believing the lies and stand firm! Get your eyes off the storm, onto Jesus and then get your orders for how to be His hands and feet each day. My pastor back home always said that every stumbling block can also be a stepping stone. Which will you chose?
As for me, I’m praying God will change my heart and show me each day how to fight the war He has in front of me. And I may or may not be seriously contemplating if sports medicine is really the right career path for me given the circumstances. We shall see . . .
