Blessing upon blessings!

This morning I got on our school bus to head out to our last village for the week. To my surprise, we actually had a full bus. You see, yesterday we were told that any students interested in surgery could take today and go see the Hospital here, watch a surgery or two, and possibly help in the ER, then they would have more time back at our 'base' to get on the internet and study! The only catch was they would have to forgo our last day setting up a clinic in the village. At the time this announcement was made, about half of my classmates raised their hands saying they would want to go. Yet, this morning none left for the hospital. On talking to one person he said they all decided they would rather be helping in the village, and they couldn't give that up. . . I think they just might be getting it!

Thursday morning I had the opportunity to lead our devotion. What was so cool, was that we had more people show up that morning than any other morning. Mostly because the physicians on this trip had been leading each devotion so it was a great draw for my classmates who wanted to get to know them better. But this time they got stuck with me :) I had so much on my heart the hardest thing was to narrow it down! God lead me to Colossians chapter 1. Talking about God as creator of the heavens and of us, and how he holds us together. My prayer was that we would all stop putting God in a little box where we can wrap our heads around Him. He is bigger and greater and more amazing than we could ever imagine! And He not only deserves our praise but demands it. He is jealous for all of us not just what we are willing to give. I wanted to give them something to think about, to ponder the majesty of God, and in so doing I pray God will show them Himself and lead them and myself to repentance. Only God knows what happened afterward but I trust His word did not return void.

Today was our last day in the clinic. We set up in a school. It was your typical concrete wall, few desks, chalkboard kind of school. We brought out our tables, gloves, stethoscopes, otoscopes, ect and thus it began. For the first time today I kind of felt like I halfway knew what I was doing. I definitely had my moments where I was clueless! But something pretty cool happened. The first day of this trip one of the physicians here said we would see the transformation from medical student to doctor happen from Monday to Friday. I don't know that I really feel like a doctor yet, but definitely a student doctor! It has been such a blessing to be able to think through how to solve these puzzles over and over again with so much individual help! But still the greatest blessing yet came from a doctor I knew before by name but just really got to know. He too had planned on being an athletic trainer until God told Him to go to med school, where He too felt like He didn't belong. So much of this guys story was just like mine! Granted I never played D1 football and I don't have arms bigger than most men's thighs, but you get the point! Not only was his past similar to mine, but He too has some of the very same passions I do! Passions for missions, and most importantly, for God! He has challenged me on this trip, spiritually, and mentally, but in a way that has been more helpful than anything else. For the first time, my teacher understood me on several deeper levels, and it was a blessing I cannot describe!

So to wrap it up, things have been wonderful, and I cannot believe today was our last day of work! I'm slowing trying to get back into study mode, because I'm jumping in the deep end when I return! Thanks for your prayers! 

Remembering to breath again

When we arrived safely into the city and I stepped off the plane, it took all of one breath to realize something major. I knew the smell, I knew the thickness of the air, the white and yellow stripped curbs along the road. 5 times I have been to Africa in 6 different countries. I always thought it was just Africa. I had even been to Mexico, but maybe I didn't realize it then. These developing nations, they are all basically the same. I couldn't help the smile that creeped across my face as I took it a breath full of dirt that had been kicked up off the road. The rooster that aided in my waking up this morning again brought a smile to face instead of a wish to shoot it. In just about all my senses, I feel, well, kind like I'm home. There's just something about it, I can't explain. The slower pace, the simple life, being grateful for a hot shower: . . . Ahhhhhh I feel like myself again!

As we drove about an hour to the top of a nearby mountain to set up a clinic inside a church building, it was brought to my remembrance that this is why I came to VCOM in the first place. This is the dusty, smelly, beautiful road I felt God was calling me on. And they were the only med school that takes these trips regularly and has them as rotation sites for 3rd and 4th year students. That's what gave me peace knowing I was going to the right place, and I was right in the center of Gods will. And yet, throughout the last 2 years with all of the studying I have slowing grown somewhat away from my love of missions. I spent 3 days preparing this time instead of the normal 3 weeks or even 3 months! I know part of that is all the work that needed to be done for school before I left, but still I wasn't nearly as excited as I have been in the past. I mean, I even slept some the night before we left! That never used to happen!

But it didn't take long for God to remind me of it all.  Since I stepped of the plane yesterday afternoon, the movie line that keeps running through my mind is from Despicable Me when one of the little girls screams out in joy, "I'm SOOOO Haaaaaappyyyyyy!!!!" And yet with this joy and really peace of spirit, comes a bit of unsettlement. And yet with that joy comes the sorrow and sometimes frustration in seeing that my classmates with me just don't get it. Oh, how I pray they get it! And oh how I pray that I don't judge them in the mean time!

Already just today, our first day, I saw us go from spending time with each patient to care for them and love on them, to: how fast can we get this done and go back? And unfortunately I am among those. Not to mention I came face to face with how much I just don't know knowledge wise! It feels like I have bits and pieces of many things but only a few connect. Thankfully the physicians we are working with are great teachers, and I now have a story and a face to go with Shigella instead of just a notecard of bullet points. Now those bullet points are pieces of a puzzle and I've seen the picture. Now I am learning to know the story behind some of my classmates, thus helping me to not get frustrated so easily!

I've also realized something, I knew God gave me a heart for the under served, the oppressed, those no one else is going to. At first I thought it was specific to Africa, then maybe it's anyone regardless of country, but today I realized that though I do care deeply for those most in need throughout the world, there's something special about 3rd world countries. I don't don't why but God gave me heart for these people, in the villages, who must travel for days to see a doctor. I don't know what that means for the future, because I'm not the one planning it, nothing in my life has ever felt more right then today using what little I know to help these precious people!

I feel like I am in my element and I am so very thankful God would let me be here at this time, when board studying was about to suffocate me to death! He is oh so gracious! And we are having a devotion each morning and I will have the opportunity to share something which those classmates who come later this week! The only problem is, I have no idea what God wants me to say yet! Please pray that God would show me, and that I would not let my pride get in the way of His work! Pray for the people, that somehow Gods light would shine regardless of language barrier and regardless of the short amount of time we may have together! Pray for my classmates that they would be moved In a life changing kind of way. The kind of change only a God as big as ours can bring! As for me, I am in my happy place! So, praise God with me that He would allow me to get rejuvenated before having to grind it out for boards!

Soaking up the seconds!
Janie

Crunch time

This is one of those places it never really occurred to me that I would be in. A few weeks ago, I had my last lecture over new material to study EVER! Granted I still have boards to take in June and thus I have some review lectures, but all my exams from here on out are kind of a big deal and their number is like small enough that I can count them on my hands!

As I have fill blown began studying like crazy for this next exam in June, I feel like G is really finally helping me out of this drought I’ve been in. I had been so bogged down with school, and life in general. But every day over and over I would just hear Him say, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God” The more I dwelt on it, the more I realize how He has been giving me the key to all of this all along. I’ve realized how little my faith has been to not trust Him with everything and just run after Him. I wish it were as simple as just flipping a switch and saying okay now I will just seek Him first and not worry about the rest, but it has been a daily struggle. I have also still been contemplating the question, how do we continue to pour ourselves out daily and hurt when our patients hurt without becoming hard or letting it rip us to shreds? Again, I kept hearing Him say ‘seek ye first.’ I’m still working on it, because I know that He is enough to enable us to do anything, no exceptions. But here is what I have so far: If we can learn to seek Him first, then we will be continually, daily filled up with Him, His love, His mercy, His compassion, His patience. Then when we are continually poured out, it is really Him being poured out not us. And when we hurt with our patients, He hurts too, and we can leave them at His feet knowing “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” or He will work all things for their good. We can know that He hurts more than we do, and He has it under control. I’m not sure how this all plays out in real everyday life yet, other than everyday choosing to seek Him first. But I know He will get us there, if we are faithful and if we can trust Him. It seems so simple, but isn’t that just like Him?

Tomorrow I am headed to Honduras with VCOM to work in some area clinics in the capitol. I am so ready and so thankful for the timing to give me a break from this intense studying! I could use a reminder of why I’m in school right now! But I also know I am going to learn so much! The physicians going with us are amazing and I feel like a sponge every time I’m around them! It’s like a win, win, win, because I get a break from school, I’ll be learning like crazy, and I get to pour myself out and just love on people again! I have so missed just having the time to love and serve people! I also know this will be a great opportunity to really get to know my classmates who are going and hopefully share some with them as well! Ah! I already feel like I can breathe better! Haha!

Will you please join  me in prayer as I head to Honduras? Pray that God will teach me medically and spirtitually, pray for the people there that I will have opportunities to show Christ to them, and for my classmates most of whom do not know Christ themselves. Pray God will give me opportunities to get to know them better and share truth with them as well! Please also pray for me as we return. These next few months leading up to my boards on June 25^th will be grueling, an average of 12 hours a day of studying. I know God will get me there and He will be my strength day in and day out, and He is my wisdom. Please pray that I will be faithful to seek Him first no matter what, and trust that He will fill in the rest!