Holidays

The past few weeks have felt as though I was in a fog. We had 5 tests before Thanksgiving break and so we all just crashed right after. I waited for Andrew to get into Christiansburg from DC at 3:30 am and then we headed to Greeneville TN where we enjoyed the best southern breakfast known to man! Every year the Tusculum Baptist Church hosts a Thanksgiving breakfast. The men cook everything from gravy n’ biscuits to country ham and bacon, it’s just the perfect country breakfast. Since I was little it was one of the top 5 highlights of mine and Andrew’s year. And now just because we both are away at school we still had to make it. So, we drove through the night and thoroughly enjoyed the food awaiting us!

The entire Thanksgiving break was wonderful! Our whole family was together and wow, how we are blessed! Even though we all spent Saturday night decorating the Christmas tree I refused to get into the Christmas spirit. Once I feel like it’s Christmas time, it becomes so hard for me to focus on school work and really get work done. So, I’m waiting to break out the Christmas music until after finals. Andrew and I drove back to Christiansburg Sunday morning and then he went on to DC. The little glimpse of how life used to be made me really miss living with my family and being in Knoxville. But fortunately I had plenty of school work to keep me busy Sunday night and this week so I don’t get so homesick. Just 3 weeks and we will all be back together again for yet another brief period of time.

That’s the thing though, since moving to VA, I have been just getting through until I can go home for a little bit. And then I have to come back and again I look forward to going home again. It’s not as bad as it was, but I really need to settle down here. I still don’t really want to be here. If med school was in Knoxville I think I would be set. But it’s not, and this is where God has me. I’ve really just been in coasting mode the last few weeks and my relationship with God has suffered for it. He reminded me today that my goal first and foremost is Him. Matthew 6 He says “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.” I’ve been focusing on ‘all these things” and not on Him.

I want to be at the place where no matter where I am or what I am doing I can be satisfied because I have God. I don’t want to be constantly looking to the next break or next time I can go home or the next whatever. Right now, I want to be satisfied in Him and let Him take care of the rest.  

Ready, Set, Go!

Week 4 of block 2 of medical school was weird. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I was at school from 8-5 with lectures and labs. Wednesday I had to take a test early because Thursday right after class, my roommates and I along with about 35 other VCOM students headed to Louisville Ky. It was my first medical missions conference and I could not wait to meet other people who shared my same passion.

We drove through West Virginia and tried to take in the amazing scenery as we quizzed each other on different drug interactions (we have a pharm test on Monday J). We arrived in Louisville and that night stood with over 1,000 other students, residents and doctors all there to glorify God. When I felt like God was calling me into medical missions, I had no idea that he had given that same call to so many others! I was overwhelmed by the presence alone of so many like-minded people!

And if that wasn’t enough God definitely showed Himself in many ways! I had the opportunity to hear about residency programs geared toward not only family medicine internationally, but how I can integrate sports medicine and ob/gyn into a family med practice to meet more of the needs of the people wherever I serve. I was able to network and find resources on how to prepare for long term missions, specific to medicine. And of course, God reaffirmed my heart for serving Him, my longing to know Him, and my passion for reaching Muslims. I finally had to just stop and kneel before Him from exhaustion and being completely overwhelmed!

Last night I spent a good amount of time in the prayer room just kneeling before the Lord. It was one of those times I felt like I never wanted to leave the feet of Christ. I was restless because as every girl does at some point in their lives, I was hung up over boys! I know, crazy! I have just been very aware how much I hate to be alone, and aware that I don’t have much time with school to look for a husband to take with me over-seasJ. The fear of living somewhere internationally all alone has been plaguing me for some time now, and so desperately I wanted to surrender it to God but was, in my pride, not trusting Him.  Then as I sat last night and listened to God speak through an amazing man of God, this is the what I heard that still small voice say in my own thoughts, ‘How can I say that my comfort, my time, my sleep, and a future husband and family are of more importance than reaching unbelievers with Christ, or more important than fulfilling that which I know God has been preparing me for since the foundation of the world? Really, how can I say that what I want is worth more than what God wants? What idolatry! How selfish does a person have to be to make such a choice?’

He has told me to go, and He has told me it won’t be easy or comfortable or even safe. So even though it means sacrificing everything, for His name sake I must go. I am compelled by His majesty to obey. Graciously, He has also given me at least 6 more years to prepare. And I realized this weekend that I need to start that now. I believe there are older wiser people out there who God will use to guide me and disciple me through the process, and if you are one of them please do not tarry! I have so much maturing and growing up to do before then. And I also have a mission field here around me in which I need to be much more active! So please if you think of it, pray that God would give me the grace to trust Him in EVERY area of my life, not only school, and that He would send someone to disciple me as I seek to serve Him with everything I am.

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners;” Is 61:1