That light bulb moment. Almost like a Gibb’s slap from
behind makes everything come into view and all the sudden your little puzzle piece
fits into a masterpiece of a picture that you never imagined. That was me last
night.
God has made me a very passionate person. Throughout growing
up whatever that latest thing was I would run after it hard, until something
else came up. I was in band, I played basketball, I taught drum lessons, I
taught Sunday school, helped a church plant, helped Invisible Children, went on
every mission trip my parents would allow, and of course cheered for the Lady
Vols like it was going out of style.
In college it became a problem, because having so many
things to be passionate about makes it hard to choose what to do with the rest
of your life. There for a while I thought I had it figured out. Teach middle
school science and math and do athletic training on the side. This combined my
passion of sports, with teaching and my unusual passion to work with adolescents
who most people would rather run from. Then I started working with refugees and
again yet another passion emerged. Few things in my life have been as fulfilling
as helping those Muslim mothers and their families adjust to living in
Knoxville! When I felt God call me to go to medical school, I battled Him hard.
Somewhat because of the amount of work He was asking of me, but also because
going to medical school meant giving up all of these passions I so loved, at
least for a time.
I obeyed and went to med school trusting that it would
become a passion of mine. God used those precious women with veiled face to
take me there. Again, I assumed that the best fit for my medical specialty
would be family medicine, because I could work with, well, everyone. The women,
their kids and I guess their husbands too. This would be ‘most useful’ overseas
of course.
But then here I was in my 3rd year of school. I
had 4 weeks of family medicine and well I didn’t really like it. But maybe it
was just the doctor I was working with or that I’m not overseas yet. I mean
surely I’ll enjoy it in the right setting? Right? I found myself floating
through 2 more primary care rotations and I started getting a little scared.
God, really, is THIS what you brought me here for? Because I expected it to be,
well, a little more satisfying. I started questioning does He really want me
overseas, because if so I should go to this residency and do this, this and
this, but if I’m staying in the US, I’d rather do this, this and this. And if I’m
going to get married I need to only pick from these things for residency, but
wait, what if God doesn’t want me to get married? Then I could do this or this.
Round and around it went in my head and I was getting very
dizzy! Not to mention VCOM just had their residency fair where you can meet and
talk to directors and start thinking about where you want to go. I walked away
from that just as confused as ever. The only good thing was that I was able to
talk to a resident in OBGYN (which I was highly considering) and realized how
much surgery is involved. I really only wanted to deliver the babies, I’m not a
surgeon of any sort! So, at least I could basically mark one thing off my list.
To make matters worse, my radar had consisted of Family med,
internal med, and OBGYN (which we can mark off now), but I am in my pediatrics
rotation, and it is WAY TOO FUN!!!! I don’t really like kids, because when they
start crying I have no idea what to do with them. Not to mention I have issues
with kids with behavior problems and I just want to tie them down. But for the
most part these are not issues in the pediatric office. I’m not responsible for
their behavior in the office, so it makes them much more enjoyable! So now,
pediatrics was maybe sort of on my radar, but I wasn’t quite ready to admit it.
Honestly, the thought of me as a pediatrician makes me laugh . . . pretty hard!
Then last night I’m talking to my preceptor about how I’m
doing in this rotation and what I can improve on and such. Just out of
curiosity I ask her about residencies as if I was considering peds. She goes
into a few residency programs and mentions there are several fellowships, adolescent
medicine being one of them. Adolescent Medicine, there it was. The Gibb’s slap.
Why this never occurred to me before, I have no idea. Not only can I minister
to families as I get to know them, but I can work with that age group that too
often gets pushed to the side because no one wants to deal with ‘hormones’ and
whatever else makes them crazy at that age. I can do missions through this, I
can do sport medicine through this, and I can revive my passion for this age
group!
Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like I might be a
pediatrician. For those of you who know me, you may laugh this once, but I’m
serious. I am so thankful that God knew all of this so long ago and has been
shaping me for it for quite some time. It’s a great feeling, and I am so
excited to study medicine again!
