My heart is full this morning reflecting on the love, grace and mercy of our God. The past few weeks have been rather big for me. I finally had the opportunity to share our human trafficking protocol and information with our entire pediatric department in something called Grand Rounds. The Lord greatly blessed it and has brought more knowledge of how to help these victims to more people. This week I was blessed to share a Passover meal with our Bible study here and contemplate the 7 things Christ spoke while on the cross. We fixed our eyes on Him while He gave us a glimpse of His agony in bearing sin. I still cannot wrap my head around the moment when God the Father turned His back on God the Son and how that could even happen! Think about it, we in our humanity deem that some specific single sins are deserving of death by electrocution or what have you, so for Christ to pay for all sin- every lie, every murder, every time we worship idols or take His name in vain, every evil thing- he had to suffer the single worst, most heinous death possible. And He did. Only the God-man could bear the weight of it, for it would easy have crushed any of us far before it was accomplished. Yet, He did it! He suffered through it all and paid it in full! To contemplate this truly is mind boggling and humbling. My sin, each of my lies, evil thoughts, selfishness, idolatry- if He died only for me, it would have to be just as heinous a death. For my sin only is that weighty. A weight I never could have born on my own. I deserve hell, and all the evil that comes with it for I was once an enemy of God. But Christ paid MY debt! And because He rose and defeated sin and death we know that it was enough and an acceptable payment.
The meaning of Easter, the reason we celebrate today, is far greater than our minds can understand. For if Christ did not raise from the dead, if this is only a story and not true history, then my life is not only wasted, but I am as good as dead.
This week also happens to hold the day that marks another year of my life. 29 years ago God breathed life in me and allowed me to live on this Earth. He already had marked out for me each of those days ahead and had a plan for me to know Him. Birthdays and Christmas when we celebrate by giving and receiving gifts. As I think of things I may want for this year ahead it is a little different than when I was a kid- to be loved, accepted, to have meaning, hope, rest, peace, security, to actually be able to help me patients (especially the multiple kids I admitted just this week for thoughts of or attempts at suicide), to be able to comfort the parents of my patients, to end trafficking and all social injustice, justice for the unborn without a voice, that all people may know hope, love and peace. Each and every thing I could ever want or truly need is fulfilled in Christ because He died and rose again! There truly is no greater gift than to know this God, My God! All problems great and small He has overcome! If I live out the rest of my days alone apart from family, without a husband, if I become homeless and hungry, I still have all I need and more than enough, for I have Christ! What a blessing and treasure it is to know Him! Praise to be God for allowing us to taste and see that He is good! This week, with everything that has gone on and everything coming up, first and foremost I am so incredible thankful and humbled to know this Jesus, that He would reach His hand out to me and offer to cover my sin and give me life! It truly is better than Christmas, or a birthday because it is the greatest gift, and I can celebrate it everyday forever!
