2013, a year, an amount of time in which for some meant
heartache and for some celebration. Thankfully it saw my transfer from the lowly
first year medical student to the less lowly second year med student. I don’t
even want to think of all the facts I have memorized or learned throughout this
year, though I do have a large tub of used flashcards that remind me how far I’ve
come. The strangest thing as happened however. With med school year 1, so much
uncertainty, so much over my head, constantly feeling overwhelmed, I came to
know Christ and His faithfulness to me in a way I had never known it. So many
verses made it the 16 inches from my head to my heart. He is faithful, He is
all I need, He is the source of my wisdom, my joy, my strength. He is my all in
all. Then with my second year in school, after a month of sleep and
recuperation, I started losing my first love. I had done most of this before
and I know how to play the game. But with the new confidence, and better efficiency
I didn’t have to rely on Christ I had before. Now I am sitting the last day of
2013 feeling further from Him than on Jan 1st. I know naturally we
all go through ebbs and flows and we cannot be on the mountain top all the
time, but I would rather be in harder circumstances so that I may know Christ
more fully. I am thankful however, that no matter how I ‘feel,’ I am His. Isaiah
43 tells us that “I (God) have called you by your name, You are mine.” I am thankful
that the rock I stand upon is solid and doesn’t move no matter what. That even
though I feel far away He is still holding on to me and has never left! It
reminds me of the ocean’s tide. Sometimes it’s closer, about to take out your
towel and all your belongings and then in goes back in so that you must walk a
little further to enjoy it’s presence. But in reality, the ocean hasn’t moved,
only in your tiny little perspective has it changed.
So, today, not even waiting
until tomorrow to make a “resolution,” I’m zooming out to
take in the vastness of our God. Yes, we can see Him in the minute details of
cells and so obviously throughout the human body, but I have lost sight of His
greatness. Not only did God create this universe but He knows every single
detail about it. He is the source of all knowledge and wisdom. As John Piper
puts it in his book Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ “All the sciences that scratch the surface of
the created universe are mere ABC’s compared to Christ’s exhaustive knowledge .
. . Therefore, let us bow down and worship Jesus Christ. Even if we are
impressed with the scholarship of man and the achievements of scientific
knowledge, let us not play the fool by trumpeting the wonder of these tiny
chirps while ignoring the thunderclap of God’s omniscience. Jesus alone is
worthy of our highest admiration!” In my search to understand and learn these
tiny chirps I have been lost in their
greatness. Still so many of the things I learn of the human body amaze me and
it’s easy to forget they are part of a tapestry far greater and more amazing than
I could ever imagine! He deserves my admiration! And I must fight myself to
keep this perspective whether I feel like it or not!
