Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Food will be in no short supply. Laughter, hugs, excitement for the next few days. A time to stop and remember we have been blessed beyond comprehension. I mean who are we to deserve any of it? Not only family, food (way too much of it!) friends, and wealth, but for those of us who have been adopted in the family of God, we are heirs of Christ! Forget everything else, God calls us sons and daughters! One of my all time favorite quotes sums it up nicely, "He who has God and everything, has no more than he who has God alone." I'm pretty sure we could dwell on that the rest of our lives and still not comprehend what it means to be an heir of God. How foolish to cling onto our Earthly treasures instead of letting go and being filled with eternal ones. But I propose it is not that we do not want to have the treasures of God, rather in our pride we trust our own interpretation of what is good instead of trusting what God says is magnificent. We cannot comprehend the greatness of what He offers, thus we cling to the only thing we know and in so doing, we damn ourselves.
Ignorance to the things of God, no, rather blindness. Blindness that leads to all kinds of evil. This week I have never been more aware of the darkness which surrounds the profession God is leading me into. We have begun learning about OB/GYN. Everyday I feel as though my soul becomes heavier with the weight of possible situations I may someday face. Women who have been abused, women who give up their bodies for pleasure. Everyday, I am reminded of the sin that runs rampant in our society destroying lives. How can I face person after person who comes to me for healing from wounds which were self-inflicted? I must constantly remind myself I do not fight a war of flesh and blood, but of angles and principalities and powers not seen. (Eph 6:12) My heart breaks for those bound by the sin that is so evil and it makes me hate sin more than I ever have before. Thus reminding me also of why God has called me here. "He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound." Is 61:1
Yet even when God allows me to see with His eyes, still this week has brought about a moral struggle within me that cannot be easily rectified. One of the things I am extremely passionate about is how incredibly wrong and just pure evil abortion is. I cannot see it in myself to be able to council a patient who has had an unwanted pregnancy and wants an abortion. At the moment I have no idea how to handle such a situation. Granted, I know this is an amazing opportunity but I have much learning to do before I get there. And yet the hardest thing for me to wrestle with is in the area of ectopic pregnancies. Where the fertilized egg doesn't make it into the uterus for a safe implantation, but gets stuck somewhere in the tube or even inside the abdomen. Allowing the fetus to grow in the tube will cause the tube to rupture and the woman will bleed to death. But how can you say that even in such a situation it is okay to kill the living fetus? Even when the likelihood for both mother and baby to die is very great, how can such a situation be reconciled?
Such are the current struggles of my soul. Struggling to be completely satisfied in God as my treasure. Struggling to see people, no matter their circumstance, the way Christ sees them. Struggling for answers as I navigate the dark waters of health care. Yet, my soul has peace. Because at the end of the day no matter what new evil I have been made aware of or what new battle rages within me, my foundation is firm. Christ is my solid rock and I know He will prove faithful as always.
Ignorance to the things of God, no, rather blindness. Blindness that leads to all kinds of evil. This week I have never been more aware of the darkness which surrounds the profession God is leading me into. We have begun learning about OB/GYN. Everyday I feel as though my soul becomes heavier with the weight of possible situations I may someday face. Women who have been abused, women who give up their bodies for pleasure. Everyday, I am reminded of the sin that runs rampant in our society destroying lives. How can I face person after person who comes to me for healing from wounds which were self-inflicted? I must constantly remind myself I do not fight a war of flesh and blood, but of angles and principalities and powers not seen. (Eph 6:12) My heart breaks for those bound by the sin that is so evil and it makes me hate sin more than I ever have before. Thus reminding me also of why God has called me here. "He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound." Is 61:1
Yet even when God allows me to see with His eyes, still this week has brought about a moral struggle within me that cannot be easily rectified. One of the things I am extremely passionate about is how incredibly wrong and just pure evil abortion is. I cannot see it in myself to be able to council a patient who has had an unwanted pregnancy and wants an abortion. At the moment I have no idea how to handle such a situation. Granted, I know this is an amazing opportunity but I have much learning to do before I get there. And yet the hardest thing for me to wrestle with is in the area of ectopic pregnancies. Where the fertilized egg doesn't make it into the uterus for a safe implantation, but gets stuck somewhere in the tube or even inside the abdomen. Allowing the fetus to grow in the tube will cause the tube to rupture and the woman will bleed to death. But how can you say that even in such a situation it is okay to kill the living fetus? Even when the likelihood for both mother and baby to die is very great, how can such a situation be reconciled?
Such are the current struggles of my soul. Struggling to be completely satisfied in God as my treasure. Struggling to see people, no matter their circumstance, the way Christ sees them. Struggling for answers as I navigate the dark waters of health care. Yet, my soul has peace. Because at the end of the day no matter what new evil I have been made aware of or what new battle rages within me, my foundation is firm. Christ is my solid rock and I know He will prove faithful as always.
