I stood by the window in the church office, ready with my white dress on, hair in soft curls and make up that made me look like a movie-star. Since I was a little girl, I had thought of this day. But, over the years I had truly started to wonder if it was in God’s plan for me. Quite frankly I had come to the conclusion many times that it was only a dream. Yet, there I stood, waiting to walk down the aisle to the man the Lord had been preparing for me. It was actually really happening!
Words cannot describe the joy and deep thankfulness I have been feeling in this season. I spent many nights in the past crying out to the Lord in my loneliness asking for a companion in life that would strive towards the Lord with me and make me more like Jesus. In many seasons the Lord enabled me to embrace my singleness and, in His kindness, has allowed me to know Him more through it. Let’s be real, it was not always rainbows and sunshine and I had many times where I was angry with the Lord and longed for a husband for selfish reasons. Yet, He continued to work on me and mold and shape me through it all. In this season of joy, gladness, and thankfulness, I cannot help but remember my sisters (and brothers) out there who are still single and waiting with the same longing I once had for a spouse. So, this is for you. If it could in some small way lift up your head and remind you of the greatness of our God. And, this is to give thanks and praise the God who sustained Micah and I both for this day and will continue to do so in our marriage.
For the longest time I felt like my life was on hold though time itself continued on. I watched siblings and friends marry and have kids and it felt like the world was moving on without me. Everyone around me was growing up and enjoying life, but my life stood still in this purgatory of waiting. As another younger sibling, or another single friend would get married I would think, “well there goes another one. One less friend and companion in the world who understands me.” And as the number of single friends dwindled it became ever more discouraging. So that even as I was leaving the church with my new husband off to our honeymoon I was praying for and thinking of my single friends who may be feeling the same way as I did so many times before. And my prayer is that we can still be good friends and that you know I still understand and am still with you. Much of society, culture and church even are focused on families, which is a good thing, but it can often leave singles feeling very isolated. For years, I was that single women who heard all the things people would say to encourage me, yet somehow it was more disheartening.
- “You can do so much more for God when you are single” – well, what if I’m currently a mess and feel like God isn’t doing anything in me right now, what then? What if I’m no good at being single, then I definitely won’t be any good at being married. . .
- “He will bring the right person at the right time” – what if I’m not the right person and what if there is no ‘right time,’ what if there really is no ‘right person’ that could love me
- “He is just still preparing you both for each other” – seriously? I know I am flawed, but am I THAT bad that there is no one I’m good enough for? How long is my ‘preparation’ going to take?
- Or the not so subtle, “So, I have this friend that is single that I really want you to meet” – because I am so hopeless at finding someone on my own.
I feel like I’ve heard it all. Sometimes I could let things roll off and sometimes it felt like a knife. In God’s grace, at times, He enabled me to take it with grace and not take everything so negatively, but there were many times where I just became angry. So, if that’s you please know the Lord sees you and you truly are NOT alone!
During these times the one verse or passage that the Lord continued to bring back to my mind was Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Singleness can be a sweet season with the Lord if you allow it to be. But it can also be a pit of despair, if you allow it to be. The choice is yours. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus is reminding the crowd that Almighty God is the one who provides for all our needs. He clothes the flowers of the fields and feeds the birds. And, in case you forgot, He counts YOU as much more valuable and He loves you much more! One of my favorite quotes from John Piper (he has some great resources for single Christians by the way), is that “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” What does it even mean to seek Him first, or be most satisfied in Him? It means that He becomes our everything. That He is ultimately what we long for and what we strive after. That deep hole you feel in your life, it is NOT a spouse you’re looking for. . . it’s actually Christ Himself! Colossians 1:16-17 tells us that “All things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.” Here’s the secret: God made you, exactly as you are, FOR HIMSELF. He is your bridegroom, and He is able to satisfy you in greater and deeper ways than anything in this entire universe! I can tell you from personal experience that there have been times where the Lord allowed me to truly seek Him first. Being in His presence is joy and contentment greater than anything I have ever known! In some of John Piper’s material for single Christians he makes the point that Christ is the best thing for us, period. And that any good thing on this earth- marriage, companionship, sex – it is all meant to be a spring board, or a picture to point us to Christ because He is the only one that can fulfill us in ways these other things never can. So, please hear me, you are NOT missing out on life, you are NOT living a ‘less-than’ ‘deficient’ or ‘sub-par’ life as a single Christian! You have access to the throne of Almighty God the same as everyone else. And He is the only One who can fill you up in every moment of everyday. He is the only One who will love you perfectly just as you are and make you the best version of yourself! Look to the God who gave His life for you! He wants you just as you are, and He wants all of you! He truly knows you fully and completely and says, yes, you are mine! “As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so your God will rejoice over you” Isaiah 62:5.
Let me also just note here that even in times where the Lord helped me believe these things and drew me to Himself, I would still ask Him for a physical body and person to just hug every now and then or a shoulder to cry on. God did make us for companionship and for community. So, if this is you. I hear you and I cannot stress the importance of finding a community of other Christians to be the physical representation of Christ to you. And for those of us who are married, we need community too, but can we also not neglect our single friends. Invite them to holiday dinners, or just a weeknight dinner. Even if you have all the toddlers and have no time, can you invite them to get groceries with you or to help watch your kids while you cook dinner. Can we all invite them to do life with us, because that is the Body of Christ.
And now, may I shift to lay down an offering of thanks before the God who has been and will forever be my bridegroom and my everything.
On August 5th 2023 I was finally able to walk down the aisle to my best friend and the man I love. I cannot fully put into words how thankful I am for him. The Lord gave me a man who truly loves Him first, a man who challenges me and helps make me more like Jesus. A man who actually leads me to Christ and is not afraid to stand up for what is right in a society where men are constantly put down. Jesus shines through him. He makes me laugh and has helped me get back to a child-like wonder and excitement. He takes me on adventures and protects and provides so that I can relax and enjoy the ride. Micah Isenhour, you were worth the wait and worth not compromising!
It would have been more than enough to marry him, but to celebrate that day with so many of our friends and family made it so much sweeter. There were decades of people and families the Lord had used in various seasons of our lives that had come to witness and celebrate what the Lord was doing in us. So many people that the Lord used to make Micah and I who we are today. I was overwhelmed with thankfulness as I looked over the faces of precious life-long friends and family who took the time to celebrate that day with us. It meant more than you could know to see so many of you there and to be reminded of how the Lord blessed us with each of your lives.
The kindness of the Lord has continued to leave me in awe.
And yet, as sweet and precious as that day and night were, as wonderful as these few weeks of marriage have been (and it has been better than I could ever have imagined), it truly does not compare to the joy and satisfaction I have felt in the presence of Almighty God. So, my single friends, I can honestly tell you. . . God is enough. He has your best for you. He is good, oh so good! Run to Him!
No comments:
Post a Comment