"We are the clay and You our potter" Isa 64:8

The past few weeks have felt as though I was in a fog. We had 5 tests before Thanksgiving break and so we all just crashed right after. I waited for Andrew to get into Christiansburg from DC at 3:30 am and then we headed to Greeneville TN where we enjoyed the best southern breakfast known to man! Every year the Tusculum Baptist Church hosts a Thanksgiving breakfast. The men cook everything from gravy n’ biscuits to country ham and bacon, it’s just the perfect country breakfast. Since I was little it was one of the top 5 highlights of mine and Andrew’s year. And now just because we both are away at school we still had to make it. So, we drove through the night and thoroughly enjoyed the food awaiting us! The entire Thanksgiving break was wonderful! Our whole family was together and wow, how we are blessed! Even though we all spent Saturday night decorating the Christmas tree I refused to get into the Christmas spirit. Once I feel like it’s Christmas time, it becomes so hard for m...

Week 4 of block 2 of medical school was weird. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I was at school from 8-5 with lectures and labs. Wednesday I had to take a test early because Thursday right after class, my roommates and I along with about 35 other VCOM students headed to Louisville Ky. It was my first medical missions conference and I could not wait to meet other people who shared my same passion. We drove through West Virginia and tried to take in the amazing scenery as we quizzed each other on different drug interactions (we have a pharm test on Monday J ). We arrived in Louisville and that night stood with over 1,000 other students, residents and doctors all there to glorify God. When I felt like God was calling me into medical missions, I had no idea that he had given that same call to so many others! I was overwhelmed by the presence alone of so many like-minded people! And if that wasn’t enough God definitely showed Himself in many ways! I had the opportunity to hear about...

I was sitting in Barns and Noble yesterday reading Elmo book after Elmo book to my almost 2 year old nephew Kelvin when I received a text from Andrew saying, "I can come!!!!!" Almost immediately tears began to flood my eyes until Kelvin voiced hid displeasure that I had stopped reading. Today was my white coat ceremony, and mom and Kelvin came up Friday night to hang out. This had been on the family calender for a while, but I never really expected so many people to celebrate it with me! The hardest thing about medical school has been learning to be on my own. Separating myself from my family while trying to keep my head above water in class. With Andrew in DC and staying on an extremely tight workout schedule with the track team it never occurred to me that I would get to see him for this momentous occasion. I had prepared myself to gloss over the whole thing like it wasn't a big deal. My mentor, Kathy, and the doctor who God used to point me in this dire...

The whole of first block I was looking forward to our week off before we started block 2. Don’t get my wrong my week off was wonderful! I got caught up on sleep, rested well, visited with many friends and family members, and even was a little productive. However, what I failed to do was prepare myself for block 2. I worked so hard block 1 just to get to the break and then failed to remember I had to come back and do it again. The Sunday that I left I could hardly enjoy the few hours I had left with my family for dread of the drive back to Blacksburg. And that was one of the longest 4-hour drives of my life! I cried for most of it. School started off well, and the classes were so much easier and more enjoyable than in first block, but I was so homesick I couldn’t stand it! I didn’t want to be there, and it didn’t matter what I was learning or doing, I just wanted to go home. But as it does, time worked wonders and I finally settled into my school routine within a fe...

Soccer is in my opinion one of THE most frustrating games ever! Tonight I had the privilege of watching the Lady Vol soccer team. I watched them give everything, get beat up in battles for the ball, drive time after time towards the goal only to get passes intercepted and shots sailing high or wide or right to the keeper. So many opportunities, so much effort, they left it all on the field, yet in one moment, with one opponent slipping behind their backline they went down 0-1. It was hard enough for me to watch let alone for the players who fought the game. So badly I wanted to make everything better; wanted them to get the reward for their hard work. But that’s not life. It occurred to me on the drive home how much life is just like that game. The last 2 months felt just the same. I worked harder and much much longer than I ever had. No sleep, no social life, I poured myself out completely every day and for what? Some days I was so ready to give up. I just wanted to go home and...

Today as I walked out of the ocean a large wave gathered behind me sucking all the sand and water in my path backward. It made it hard to take each step and felt as though I was walking in place as the wave pulled everything in to itself. Once the wave crashed and the water subsided I realized I had actually been moving the whole time and was indeed now at the edge of the shore. It occurred to me that so many times we become so focus on the waves and the strength needed to keep going, that we fail to see how far we have come through it all. Yesterday I officially finished my first block of medical school. When I think back to how hard these last 2 months have been few words come to mind. There were so many times I honestly did not think I would make it through. The whole block I felt as though I did not belong. Like every one there was ten steps ahead of me and I couldn’t catch up. The week of finals I was looking at making 2 C’s, 4 B’s and hopefully an A. That is ...

“Struck down, but not destroyed” 2 Corinthians 4:6 has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I am all of two weeks away from surviving my first block of medical school, yet after today it seems impossible even to survive! For the last month and a half, I have been tested literally and figuratively in more ways and more often that I even thought possible! I have failed many of those tests, yet until now have felt the overwhelming presence of God. I clung to Him like never before and worshiped in the midst of what seemed like my world crashing in on me. This weekend I had a chance to go home. I actually got somewhat caught up on sleep and had fun for once in a really long time. And then I had to come back. Today I very possible failed yet another rather important test. I can feel myself cracking, as though I am about to explode all over whatever is around. I do not want to be here. I do not want to study anymore. I’m tired of trying so hard and failing. Tired of always being tired ...

My first few weeks of medical school were difficult to say the least. Still processing my trip to East Africa and moving to different state took much more of a toll on me than I ever expected! For the first 2 or 3 weeks I could barely focus on my school work and that doesn’t bring about great results in med school! I was just barely passing every exam until I flat out failed my first exam. Microbiology. I would like to say that I got my act together, pulled my self up by my bootstraps and that was the end of that. But that was not the case. Slowly I began coming out of this ‘funk.’ I was able to study and understand more rather than memorize random facts, put them together and apply them. Through all of this God has given me so much peace about life in general. I am honestly beginning to love Him more than ever before! Just this last week, I had my second microbiology test. Obviously I needed to do extremely well on it. The weekend before I had already gone over ev...

I believe part of why God works in our life is so that He can use what we learn and struggle with to help and encourage others. Therefore in this blog I will try to be open and honest about my imperfections and struggles. Tomorrow morning I will take my 7 th medical school exam. Thus far I have been below average on all of them. Ok not too bad I realize these are medical students! On two exams thus far I have barely passed, and yet haven’t been too stressed because I know God wants me here and that success is in obedience not outcome. Today however, I found out I failed my first test ever! Like not even D+ failed it! The bad thing is that I studied so hard. I really thought I knew it! I thought things were going to improve but they only got worse. I wanted to melt and throw a fit and ask God why He would bring me here to fail. And then I remembered what I wrote for my facebook status this morning: “Faith must be tested, because it can only become your intimate possession th...

1 Corinthians 7:30 says, “and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be free of concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife.” May first few weeks of medical school, I have spent a good majority complaining. I didn’t want to leave Knoxville, my family, my friends. I wasn’t ready to start working hard again, and I definitely didn’t want to work as hard as I had to. I still wanted to sleep in and have fun, but I couldn’t. I was miserable. Don’t get me wrong I was and am still so happy to be here, but it is NOT fun! My quiet times were suffering, and I had very little joy. I knew I was only ...

These first two weeks of medical school have been a whirl wind. When I moved up to Christiansburg VA, I was still very much jet-lagged and trying to process all God did in East Africa. Every day I woke up early with my stomach in knots with so much anxiety I couldn’t think straight. The weekend before I started school I drove home to see Julie when she came home from over-seas. It was great seeing my family, but still I could not relax or even sleep very much. For the life of me I couldn’t understand why I was so anxious. Yes I was starting medical school the next day, yes, I had just moved away from home, and yes, I had just returned from a summer long trip to a very difficult culture to live in, but I didn’t think any of those things themselves were keeping me awake; maybe just the combination of it all. It was incredibly difficult to drive away that Sunday afternoon. Those four hours to VA in the pouring rain seemed to take forever! I couldn’t eat, and so I just drove. About ...

“It was good for you to come today,” she said as she walked me home, “I did not know before that Jesus died for MY sin.” This was the third time we had met for me to tutor her in English. She could not get enough Truth. During our second meeting we began going through John together. She was amazed by this Jesus and commented, “I think Jesus was a good man, but I think He was more than that. I think He is the Son of God.” I sat in complete amazement that this woman would openly confess Jesus as the Son of God.   Upon our third meeting she had read through 11 chapters of John in both English and her native tongue, and had written out several questions for me. Questions like, what is sin, why did Jesus die, what is resurrection. We even talked about the Holy Spirit and His role in our lives. How He is our comforter, counselor, and He shows us Truth in scripture. When she asked about the trinity, I hesitated to explain knowing that with the little bit of English she knew I may only ...

I hate good buys. I would much rather just let things happen quickly so I don't have time to dwell on the changes coming. So, for my last summer before I begin medical school I will be spending 6 weeks in East Africa. And when I return, I will have all of 1 week before I move to Virginia. Yet in doing so, I have come to realize that this week is really my last one in Powell, TN.  Well, these next 3 days really. As I am scrambling to make sure I not only have everything ready for my trip but also everything ready to begin school on my return I want to pause to say thanks. I am one of the richest people in the world. Ok technically yes, compared to the rest of the world, but also in blessings. I have been blessed with an amazing family, one I will miss greatly as I begin my own life apart from them. And I am so incredibly thankful for my church and the truth that I was given my whole life, not to mention the amazing friends throughout the years! I am astounded by the grace of God ...

After 23 years, my mother and father had their last child exit the public school system. That's alot of papers, projects, tests, and homework not to mention for 5 different children! So mom and dad congratz on YOUR graduation! You got us all through it!

Wednesday May 9 th at about 4:00pm I will walk across a stage at Thompson Boiling Arena and receive my Bachelors of Science in Education. It is crazy to think that after that point I will no longer be a student of the University of Tennessee but rather of the Virginia College of Osteopathic Medicine. I still feel way too young to be starting medical school in August! But rather than look forward to that rather large mountain ahead of me, I want to take a moment to remember what God has done to get me here. I recently looked back through my school calendar to what I was doing in January.   There was soccer practices, tests, and the usual. Then I read where I had my interview for VCOM. It is so crazy to me to think that in just these last few months God gave me an interview for medical school and an offer! And how life has changed since then! From then on I began really seeking the Lord and asking that He would prepare me, because I knew I was by no means ready...

One week ago today I sat with 6 other interviewee's nervously awaiting the chance to prove we could make it through medical school. From 8:30 until about 3 I tried to take in what it would be like to actually be a medical student in Blacksburg. The interviews went well and we were told that f we were accepted they would call us in one week. So today began, one week after my interview and I spent a good part of the morning in prayer. It was really cool to me how God brought so many verses to my mind for me to pray through. Verses like in Psalm 139 where it says "My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in secrete, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them." or Jer 33:3 " Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know." And Jer 29:11 " For I know...

Week four has begun at the University of Tennessee. I am just settling in to the new schedule and planning out what this semester will look like. Never did I ever imagine that on top of my weekly homework, the 4th week of my last semester in college would include a medical school interview! I only completed my secondary application for the Virginia College of Osteopathic Medicine about 3 weeks ago. I had just begun to relax knowing all my applications were finished when I received a call inviting me to interview with them! One year ago I was just deciding to follow God on this path, and honestly, I had little faith I would be where I am today. God's amazing grace has so guided me this past year I stand in awe of what all He has done! So, for now, I am preparing for a day-long interview on Thursday February 2nd. Please join me in praying that God would receive all the glory for whatever comes of this. Please pray that I will abide in Him for everything I need up to and at the interv...

I just returned from Passion 2012 in the Georgia Dome. It was one of those things that I had heard about and honestly only wanted to go because I knew John Piper AND Beth Moore would be speaking. I had only mentioned to my sister Julie how I would like to go, but had neither the resources to do so, nor was I around our college group enough to let our leader know I wanted to go. But I guess God wanted me there, because I ended up on the list and Monday afternoon I left with 23 others from our church to head to Atlanta. We arrived a little late but walking into the dome and seeing 45,000 people worship God was breath-taking! I remember thinking, "Oh my goodness, I wonder if this is what Heaven is going to be like?" That first night just blew me away with the bigness of this conference. The crazy thing is that from 45,000 people they were able to break us up in to community groups of a few thousand and from there groups of 8. In these small groups we were able to discuss and dig...