Take 2

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The whole of first block I was looking forward to our week off before we started block 2. Don’t get my wrong my week off was wonderful! I got caught up on sleep, rested well, visited with many friends and family members, and even was a little productive. However, what I failed to do was prepare myself for block 2. I worked so hard block 1 just to get to the break and then failed to remember I had to come back and do it again. The Sunday that I left I could hardly enjoy the few hours I had left with my family for dread of the drive back to Blacksburg. And that was one of the longest 4-hour drives of my life! I cried for most of it. School started off well, and the classes were so much easier and more enjoyable than in first block, but I was so homesick I couldn’t stand it! I didn’t want to be there, and it didn’t matter what I was learning or doing, I just wanted to go home.

But as it does, time worked wonders and I finally settled into my school routine within a few days. During that first week, we had our first cadaver lab. I’ll spare you the details, but it turned out to be quite fun. I was actually pretty good at dissecting, and it occurred to me that maybe actually I do belong here among these future physicians. I realized that day that my attitude towards all of med school had been wrong. I fought through block one because I knew God wanted me to, not because I wanted to be a physician. Yes, I was obedient and He honored that, but I hadn’t taken ownership of the task He had given me. I was just doing what I had to in order to get by, (which was really all I could do that block) but I wasn’t studying in order to know the information in a way that would help me help others and become a great physician.  

Thankfully, this past week has proven to be different. Now that we are learning about muscles and bones and cancers, I’m finally desiring to know this material, and studying is much less of a burden! Our God is so gracious! Week 1 of block 2 has been a blast and I’m actually looking forward to the 9 weeks to go. Even though I’m not in Knoxville with family and friends.

Here is the real lesson. In just about all of my trips overseas, Satan has used these same tactics to keep me from focusing on God and the task He has for me there. I do not want to get to the point where I am calloused from the hurt of leaving family and friends, but I want to get to the point where even though it does hurt, God and the work He has for me are far more important and worthy of my focus. Even though one of my greatest fears is being alone, the fear of missing what God has for me, and even God himself, are far worse. So please pray, yes for my academics, but more importantly that God would continue to teach me. That even though at times I’m in the refiners fire that I would not resist the vessel He is making me into. Right here Right now, God has a purpose for each of us. It may not be fun or easy or comfortable, but by His grace we can and must obey . . . with His joy overflowing!


Looking forward to what He has for me in Blacksburg. . . and not looking back,

Janie

"It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God- but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people." ~ Oswald Chambers

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