Frustrations of life . . . and their lessons

Soccer is in my opinion one of THE most frustrating games ever! Tonight I had the privilege of watching the Lady Vol soccer team. I watched them give everything, get beat up in battles for the ball, drive time after time towards the goal only to get passes intercepted and shots sailing high or wide or right to the keeper. So many opportunities, so much effort, they left it all on the field, yet in one moment, with one opponent slipping behind their backline they went down 0-1. It was hard enough for me to watch let alone for the players who fought the game. So badly I wanted to make everything better; wanted them to get the reward for their hard work. But that’s not life.

It occurred to me on the drive home how much life is just like that game. The last 2 months felt just the same. I worked harder and much much longer than I ever had. No sleep, no social life, I poured myself out completely every day and for what? Some days I was so ready to give up. I just wanted to go home and not talk or think medicine for one second! I felt like no matter how hard I tried and no matter what I did I just wasn’t good enough. But, that’s the beauty of grace!

In the midst of continuously being poured out I had the overwhelming joy of being filled back up. You see it’s in those moments in life that are frustrating and hard and that just plain suck that we come to know God more intimately. I have come to realize that as long as I keep my focus right, all is well no matter what! “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed . . . For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” 2 Cor 4:7,8,17

The beginning of this very long journey has begun to teach me that God really is everything. Not only does He supply the breath for each day, the strength to get out of bed, and the wisdom for class, but He is the reward. I ask myself often, ‘if God only wants me to go through this in order to know Him more will it be worth all that I’m going through?’ If I don’t actually finish medical school will it be enough that I know God more intimately? And the answer over and over is yes! I do believe God wants me to actually finish and become a doctor, but my focus each day is to know Him first and fore most. So on those days where I am the bug and not the car wind shield (which come too often) I still have joy and peace. When I play the game for Him alone, all that effort, sweat and even blood, it’s not in vain. That is the mindset with which I must face each day!