Divine Intervention

These first two weeks of medical school have been a whirl wind. When I moved up to Christiansburg VA, I was still very much jet-lagged and trying to process all God did in East Africa. Every day I woke up early with my stomach in knots with so much anxiety I couldn’t think straight. The weekend before I started school I drove home to see Julie when she came home from over-seas. It was great seeing my family, but still I could not relax or even sleep very much. For the life of me I couldn’t understand why I was so anxious. Yes I was starting medical school the next day, yes, I had just moved away from home, and yes, I had just returned from a summer long trip to a very difficult culture to live in, but I didn’t think any of those things themselves were keeping me awake; maybe just the combination of it all.

It was incredibly difficult to drive away that Sunday afternoon. Those four hours to VA in the pouring rain seemed to take forever! I couldn’t eat, and so I just drove. About ¾ of the way there I hydroplaned on the interstate. The left side of my truck slammed in to the guard rail and spun me around. I slid off the road before I realized what was happening and could react. The airbag did not deploy and my truck could still run. I got back on the interstate and slowly made my way to the next exit. There I parked at a burger king and called my dad. My entire left headlight was gone and part of my bumper was coming off, but it could have been so much worse! After I settled down some and made myself eat a few fries I got back on the interstate and made my way the last hour to Christiansburg.

The next day I started class. Needless to say I was a little distracted and in a fog. It was so hard to concentrate on science subjects I hadn’t studied in years. When I got home I called dad again and sent him pictures. I took it to a local place to get an estimate for the insurance. Long story shorter, it was totaled. I couldn’t believe it because I had just driven it an hour on the interstate. If that wasn’t Divine Intervention I don’t know what is!

That week I woke up every morning and had to reorient myself. Remember where I was and that I had to get up and go to medical school. I made myself go to some of the welcome week events to try and meet some people. I didn’t want to be around people, but I also didn’t want to be alone. Discontentment was the overarching theme. That Saturday I went to a Bible study held by other second year medical students. Oh how I am thankful God directed me there! The second years were giving us all kinds of advice. Things like don’t let school dictate your life because it will run over anything you don’t deliberately take out of its way. In the midst of all the great advice, the question was posed, what idol is God telling you to give over to Him? As I paused to think what it might be, my family, my friends back home, TN sports (haha j/k), I heard the still small voice whisper ‘comfort.’ Man, it hit like a ton of bricks. That was it. All summer I was uncomfortable hoping that once I returned home I would settle back into a comfortable life like normal. But I didn’t. And I wasn’t comfortable, actually I was very uncomfortable!

Every day I woke up and went to school where I sat through 5, 6 or ever 7, 8 hours of science lectures. Then I would go home and study all that information because I had another 6 hours of class the next day. I didn’t have time to sit and chill, play basketball, watch the Olympics. I didn’t have anyone familiar around me to keep me going. And yet every day I had the opportunity to learn more and more about how amazing our bodies are, how awesome our God is! God has provided for my every need yet I still complained like a child. I was so focused on how ‘uncomfortable’ I was that I couldn’t see the amazing blessings right in front of me!

That Sunday I went to the church of one of the girls from my Bible study. I settled down and took some time to rest. Dad had come up on Saturday to give me his car for the week until I found one and finally I was beginning to get over myself. Needless to say this week was much better! I am already behind some on keeping up with my lectures and studying, and I am already very tired, but God has given me a renewed purpose. He reminded me I am there for Him. Yes I want to help people, but more than that I want to please Him! That has given me so much peace this week! Peace about finding a vehicle, peace about classes, about friends and settling into a new city. I had my first test on Friday and I actually didn’t freak out!

This weekend I came home to Knoxville in hopes of finding a vehicle and being done with this so I can focus better on school. I made it Friday in time to see part of the Lady Vol soccer game. Wow what a blessing it was to see so many friends after the game! It was so refreshing to have so much fun and see great friends! This morning I was able to get a lot of studying done while dad went to a meeting. We headed out in search for a vehicle and after a few hours, thankfully, we found one!

So, tomorrow I will drive back to VA in my new vehicle and study late into the night for my big test the next day. Then I will begin another day. One day, then another and another; I have three tests this week. It is hard, extremely hard. But this is where I am supposed to be right now. The thing that gives me the most peace when facing how overwhelming med school can be is that I am here for God. Right here right now I am obeying Him. Each day that is my focus. It’s not to pass a test, to get through this or that, or even to become a doctor. Every day I approach it as a chance to obey.