Strength for Today

[1Co 13:1-8 ESV] 1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

 

Outside our home the oak and maple trees are beginning to change from vibrant greens to yellows, reds and orange. I am tempted to begin dreading the hours of raking and picking up leaves that never seems to be enough to keep my driveway clear. But today I have chosen to stop and notice the beauty. Why is it that when a leaf dies then it is most beautiful? Clearly the tree itself is not dying but in order for the tree to thrive and survive it must every year get rid of its leaves and start over. 

 

I don’t like this time of year. I find myself complaining about the cold and dreading the winter, already counting down the days until spring. I don’t want to pick up the leaves a million and two times, I don’t want to wear 5 layers of clothes in the morning and then slowly shed layers as the sun comes out. I wish our culture didn’t celebrate evil and find joy and entertainment in laughing at it (But that’s a rant for another day). 

 

And like the season around me I find my own heart growing cold and weary. Day to day I count down how many more patients I must see before I can be finished and go home. I struggle to listen well, and much more so to love. My life feels like a noisy gone, a clanging cymbal that gains nothing and is nothing. I know the Scriptures say “do not grow weary in doing good. (2Thess 3:13)” Yet that is exactly where I find myself. And as many things it has been slowly building. Discontentment, fatigue, selfishness and slowly pride leads me to anger. There was a time in my life where I was so excited to be a physician and serve God’s people in that way. I truly knew that I was not enough to do it on my own, but by His strength and power He brought me here. He has given me wonderful seasons that were life giving and I could not imagine doing anything else. Yet recently I find myself indifferent and not wanting all this responsibility, all this work. I have grown weary and am not sure that I am even doing good anymore. We are full blown into sick season and so our schedules are full and most days we are asked to add more than normal. This is the time of year that puts extra stress on the medical system in general. I’m constantly working to earn trust, to stay current and do what is best. I can throw all of myself and my knowledge at my job, but if I don’t do it out of love . . . it is nothing. But that isn’t new, so what has changed. The medicine and the people I serve are the same for the most part, so it must be me. What has changed in me? I’m tired. I’m weary. I have forgotten who my god is and am trying to do things in my own strength. 

 

Lord, your word tells me that I can be steadfast and immovable and abound in working for you because you have defeated death (1 Corinthians 15:58). So why do I feel this way? Why am I having a hard time continuing in your work? You are my foundation, and you have not moved. It just feels harder to stand, harder to persevere. 

 

When God called Moses to lead God’s people out of slavery in Egypt, Moses gave God lots of excuses as to why someone else would be a better fit. But in Exodus chapter 4, God continues to remind Moses that God Himself will be with him and give him all he needs to do what God is asking him to step into. Moses had a miraculous encounter with Almighty God who spoke to him directly and called him out. So, Moses steps out in faith and goes to Egypt. Initially everyone is super excited. But then Moses and Aaron go to Pharoah and ask to go worship the Hebrew God, Yahweh, in the wilderness. “But Pharaoh said, "Who is the LORD, that I should obey his voice and let Israel go? I do not know the LORD, and moreover, I will not let Israel go." (Exodus 5:2)” Moses is obeying God but when he does what God asked of him Pharoah does not respond as Moses and the children of Israel had hoped. Instead, he increased their labor and made things much harder on the people. “Then Moses turned to the LORD and said, "O Lord, why have you done evil to this people? Why did you ever send me? (Ex 5:22)” 

 

Sometimes we find ourselves in similar seasons of life. Questioning what God is doing when it seems like nothing is going according to plan. I found myself in a similar season these past few weeks. I have been asking God why He made me a physician in the first place. I am inadequate: there are too many sick kids, too many children are struggling with mental health, no one trusts us anymore. The job is too great, and I can’t do it. 

 

So how does God respond to Moses? The first part of chapter 6 of Exodus is a beautiful answer. God reminds Moses first who He is, then what He has done and what He has promised. He then tells Moses that the purpose of it all is so that everyone will know that He is the Lord. We know the story. God displays incredible power and mercy in how He brings out the Children of Israel from Egypt. He continues to provide over and over and brings them into the promised land. He fulfills all His promises. When Job loses his entire family and possessions and even his health and He cries out to God, how does God answer? He reminds Job of who He is. I encourage you to read Job 38-41and be reminded of who our God is and that He alone has authority over our lives and this world in which we live. Maybe when we question what God is doing or when we are struggling during a season of life, maybe the answer is to be reminded of who God is and not to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and work harder. 

 

During the Exodus, remember when the children of Israel were backed up to the Red Sea and Pharoah’s army came after them? God had just done all the plagues in Egypt and had been guiding them by a cloud during the day and fire at night. They come to the Red Sea and suddenly look back and see the Egyptian army coming after them. They lost sight of the God who was leading them and only saw the army and were very afraid. They forgot all God had done and were convinced they were all about to die and were ready to surrender and go back to slavery. But Moses cries out to them to Be Still and watch God deliver them. “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent. (Exodus 14:14)” Sometimes God just calls us to be still, to be quiet and watch what He is going to do.

 

So practically, what does this mean? How does it help to remember God in the midst of hard times? For one thing it gets our eyes and attention off our circumstances and onto the source of our joy, our hope, and our strength. We all know what happened to Peter when he took his eyes off Jesus as he was walking on water. He started to sink the moment his focus drifted to the wind and waves instead of Jesus. God has promised us that He will give us everything for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him (2 Peter 1:3). But if our focus is on everything around us then we are not being filled up by Christ. Sometimes He doesn’t change the circumstances or make things easier. Sometimes He asks us to be patient in our trials and hard times relying on who He is to sustain us every day. In 1 Peter 4 we are urged to rejoice in our trials and not to complain as though something strange was happening. We are told to use the gifts God has given us well to serve each other out of love, speaking with His words, serving with the ability and strength that He gives so that God gets the glory and not us. 

 

And there it is. God has called me to a job that I cannot do on my own so that I would daily or even hourly depend on Him in order that He alone gets the glory. I get burnt out/ stressed out/ overworked when I make things about me and my glory instead of surrendering it all to Him. I wasn’t made for my own happiness. I was made for Him. So of course, when I put myself first I am discontent. I cannot love the people God brings to me to be served unless I am acutely aware of how much I am loved by Almighty God though I deserve His wrath. But when I start to understand that love, that grace and mercy, when I am changed by Him, then His love, mercy and grace overflow out of me on all those around. I must decrease and He must increase. I cannot be patient, kind, humble, bearing all things, believing all things, and enduring all things without His love. 

 

“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” ~ AW Tozer

 

So, may I ask you, who is your god? Does this god make a difference in your life every day?

Is he the God of the Bible or of your own imagination? Are you trying to overcome your circumstances in your own strength, or in remembering God are you allowing Him to be glorified as you are silent? Whose glory are you striving for?