Victory in the Lord

This week we worked more hours and it seemed much harder hours than previous weeks. Dr. Sleeth had many extra things to do, so he allowed us to run the team this week without him. I was much impressed by how hard it was to do the simple things. I couldn’t just give an IV medication because it came as a powder and the nurse was asking me how to mix it and then how much to give. I had a premature infant that was desaturating and we had to bag for a while without his oxygen saturations improving. I was racking my brain for all the possible reasons and then we discovered that the oxygen was hooked up to the wrong outlet. Of course he did well after he was actually getting oxygen. The ventilator is possibly the first model every created (exaggeration) and learning to use it was it’s own challenge. So many little things that I have never had to do or think about. There is just not enough nurses to draw all the labs, give all the medications and take more vitals than once a shift. So essentially, I have learned this week to just draw the labs myself, give the medicine myself and circle back around to retake some vitals myself. Obviously I can’t do that on everyone, but when you have a very sick patient that’s the only way to ensure it will be done. I think what is so frustrating is that I see the potential here. They have more equipment and resources than I expected and really could provide a high level of patient care, but the staffing is just not there. The medicine is very similar. I am treating my asthmatic here the same as I would in KY, and the same for bronchiolitis. But the details are different and the amount of things to follow up and ensure they are working or get done is much much different. All that to say, I have a revived appreciation for my nurses back home! 

This week also brought with it some sadness and heartbreak. I.N. was a 6 year female from nearby who I admitted last weekend in newly diagnosed heart failure. Over the course of the week she greatly improved and I was starting to get things ready for her to go home. Then on Thursday she developed new symptoms that did not seem consistent with complications of heart failure or anything that we could make sense of. We ruled out the big bad scary things and watched her throughout the day, trying to treat her symptoms. That evening she suddenly passed away. This was the first patient to pass that we had taken care of by ourselves. It was easy to blame ourselves thinking we had missed something, and if Dr Sleeth had been there maybe she would still be alive. We again racked our brains for what we could have missed, and though there are always possibilities I eventually rested in the person of Christ once again. I am not perfect, and yes I do make mistakes and no I cannot thinks of every possibility. But, I also firmly believe in a God who is more than able to save a life despite my inadequacies. Once I could sit and process everything I was disgusted by my pride. That day was quite discouraging among all the other smaller frustrations we were dealing with. I sat down to read again from 1 Corinthians 15: 54, “Death is swallowed up in victory.” And then I read on, “‘O death where is your sting? O Hades where is your victory?’ The sting of death is sin, and the sting of sin the law. But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through Christ Jesus our Lord.” Usually I stop there, but not that night. Maybe because I wan’t feeling very victorious. What followed was a verse that seemed to jump off the pages at me. As if I could hear that still small voice speaking them directly to me, “Therefore, my beloved brothers (sister), be steadfast, immoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” 

And just like that I knew God was with me. He knew my deep fears and how I questioned everything I had done while here. And He lifted my head. What a sweet, kind, loving Father we have. I spent some time dissecting that verse and shared it with our pediatric team the following day. Here’s what the Lord showed me:

Therefore- pointing back to the passage prior I looked into the victory that we have. Death is defeated, it is no longer the final say or the final chapter. Death has lost its power,  but why. Christ conquered death and Hell on the cross. He did so because he paid for sin and satisfied the payment we owed. Sin and the law no longer declare us guilty and deserving of death. But, all of this is only true if Christ really came, really died, and really rose from the grave. If the Bible and all that it contains is not true, then we have no hope. But . . . thanks be to God who gives us this victory!

Be steadfast, immoveable- unwavering, not tossed around by every circumstance. We have a firm foundation, a solid rock upon which to stand. A foundation that never moves or changes. No matter what circumstance life throws our way we can be firm and immoveable in our faith and our hope for it rests in Christ alone. This foundation is only built on the hope of the Gospel, not on medicine, or wisdom or knowledge, or other people, or governments. 

Abound (overflow) in the work of the Lord- No matter what is going on, your strength and hope come from a never ending supply from God Himself. When He is in you and you are working for Him you can abound no matter what the circumstances. But this is in the Lord’s work, not just anything. What is the Lord’s work? “Whatever you do in word or in deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God the Father.” (Colossians 3:17) “Whatever you do , do all to the glory of God” (1 Corin 10:31). Here’s the kicker. As a Christian who’s life has now been transformed and who’s heart has been transplanted, my definition of successful work has changed. Successful, meaningful work is no longer defined by the world. It is not gaining more money, getting promotions, or even saving more lives. Successful work for the Christian is bringing glory to God, period! That means that if I am changing a diaper for the glory of God, I am successful. If I am cleaning my house, or running errands, or having coffee with a friend for the glory of God, I am successful. And on the contrary, if I am living for myself apart from Him it doesn’t matter what I do, I am not abounding or really being successful- even if I do save a life. It is no longer about the outward appearance or circumstances, because God is sovereign over those anyway. He does not need me to do this or that in order to save a life or bring it home. God is much more concerned with the attitude of our hearts. That is where we win or loose the battle. 

Knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord- When your heart and attitude are right before God, your labor is not in vain and you already have the victory. This is walking in the Spirit. Allowing God to direct your steps and surrendering to Him and His will. With the right attitude, He will use you to bring about His purpose and to see the world as He sees it. And when God is the one guiding all you do, you cannot fail.  

Because Christ rose from the grave and death is defeated-> we can abound in the work of the Lord and do so gladly and with joy. Because our labor is not in vain -> we can abound int he work of the Lord, and because death is defeated-> our labor is not in vain. 

Last thought: Because death is defeated we are no longer living for this life because death is not the end. We are living for eternity. Our reward is not the number of lives saved on this earth that will eventually die anyway. Our reward is in Heaven and in eternity. 

Can I just say, I am so thankful this week to be a child of God! Yes, I want to do my best and give my best - for Him, so He can use it for His glory and purposes.

My "Retro" Ventilator that I used this week: