The Giver of Life

The sovereignty of God, you ether believe it or you don’t. Today I am thankful the Lord has allowed me to believe. Before I left the states I was working nights in the PICU. We had some hard cases where I knew that if this patient were in Africa they would not be alive at that moment. I have lost pediatric patients in the States but they all seemed like extreme cases. Yesterday our peds team lost two patients within minutes. Two codes going at the same time and neither successful. Both children suffered from things that would have been more easily been treated in the States. But here we were, with what we had. I have taken comfort in the sovereignty of God as I have many times claimed that He alone has authority to give and take life. God reminded me of this as we stopped coding the child I had been sweating over for more than 30 minutes. He alone has authority over life. This is the foundational reason why I cannot support abortion but must with all I am adamantly oppose it. This morning I am reflecting on this truth. If I truly believe the Word of God, that it is His Word and that it is True in its entirety, then I can have hope in the midst whatever may come. If God is not truly God then there is no hope and no meaning to life. Then I should really spend all my days living for myself because what is the point? But I know there is a God and not just any god. Yahweh, Jehovah, the God of Abraham Isaac and Jacob, Creator and sustainer of this world and all that is in it. He has made himself clearly known through creation (Romans 1:20) and He has left His image in the very faces I see everyday (Genesis 1:27). Not to mention that He lives in me and allows me to know Him. The book of Job makes it very clear that God alone is all powerful and there is none who can oppose Him (Job 38-40). 

He says that His purpose will come to pass no questions asked (Is 46:10). If God is sovereign then did I loose that code yesterday, or is there still small victory to be had? Maybe I am putting too much of the focus on me and not Him. This is never about me winning or loosing, but serving. Psalms 139 tells us that not only did God form that precious boy in his mother’s womb but God also numbered his days and had a plan for them even before he was born. But that then begs the question: what’s the point of trying to save his life in that moment if God had already ordained it to be his last day? Well I can think of a few for starters but I’m sure I will be pondering this question over the next few weeks. 

1- I serve almighty God, and no one else. Can I in good conscious do less than my best for him? No. The first and greatest commandment is to love the Lord will all we have. I cannot do that if I do not give Him my best. 

2- God is all knowing but I am not. He knows the outcome but I do not, and therefore I cannot give up or do less than my best every time. 

3- This patient, as every patient, bears the image of Almighty God and has been set apart from all creation. As one of God’s children I am commanded to care for and love His creation, especially those who bare His image. (Matt 22:39). This is the second greatest commandment. 

4- My life is not my own. God has numbered MY days and has a plan for each of them. Part of that plan lead me to medical school and now here to Tenwek. He has given me a specific set of skills for His use not mine. When He pairs up these skills and the need for those skills, how can I not use them to give my best? I would be wasting them to not use them to the best of my ability. 

And so, with several more weeks ahead we continue, looking to God the creator and sustainer of life. I pray that He enables me to everyday give my all and my best, and that He also enables me to leave the results of that effort on the alter. 

For now, I’m going to read up and study on how to run pediatric codes so that I can perform them to the best of my ability and each time do a little better.