"Trust God and get going" ~J I Packer

One year ago, I left with my college group from church to head to passion 2012. I was already pretty sick before we left and only got much worse with the very limited amount of sleep we had once there. Despite not really having the time or money to actually go to passion, God provided both as well as the strength and health needed to learn all He had for me there. I just reread my blog post I wrote after coming back from those few days in Atlanta. And even just reading it, all the emotions and fire for God is stirred up with in me. Standing there among 45,000 other college students, God reaffirmed my calling to medical school and gave me the confidence to pursue it. Only 4 weeks later I received an interview to the school I am now attending. It’s really cool to look back on 2012 and be in awe of what God has done and brought me through! Immeasurably more, what an understatement!

This past Sunday my pastor at home preached from Phil 3:12-14. It’s a passage I have read and even studied on my own before, but like God does, He brought it back when I really needed it! His point here was that we so often have a victim’s mentality. No matter what is going on we want someone else to blame. It’s kind of ironic that I am about to start my psychology classes in school, because just about all of those ‘disorders’ can be fixed once and for all by Christ. No matter what the past holds, Christ can wipe us clean and then we have a new goal to reach for. I needed to be reminded again that my goal is not to survive medical school, become a doctor, or even to help people. My goal is Christ, and to be transformed into His image! God also reminded me that when He calls me to something He gives me everything I need to obey Him, but I also have a responsibility to labor for Him. I think my verse for this upcoming year may be 1 Corinthians 15:10, “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace towards me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me.” I must be determined to do all I can and work as hard as I can for what God has called me to, knowing that He will take what I have and enable it to produce so much more for His name sake!

In all honesty, I still look at my upcoming classes and the whole process to becoming a physician with fear and a sense of inadequacy. What psychologists would call a low self esteem probably due to being a middle child or whatever. But in reality, that is a lack of faith, unbelief. And as J I Packer said, I need to “Trust God and get going.”

So over this break from school, while I was so looking forward to seeing family and getting a break from the endless studying, I really wanted time with God to be rejuvenated and refreshed so I could face 2013 and what it brings with the right perspective. This morning was the first chance I had to do so. My sister Julie actually made it back to passion 2013 and has been asking me to watch the sessions online since she arrived yesterday. So today as I sat before the fire at my parents house to hear from God, He sent me yet another text message, which actually lead me to pull up Loui Gigglio’s opening talk at passion 2013.  He preached on Mark 9. In Mark 9 a desperate father asks Jesus to heal his son from a demon whom the disciples tried and failed to rid the boy of. Jesus asks the man in verse 23 “If you can ask and believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Then it goes on to say, “Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, ‘Lord, I believe, HELP MY UNBELIEF!’” Wow, that should be the cry of our hearts! And that is my heart as I begin school again and this new year, Lord help my unbelief! But I love that Loui goes on to talk about what happened next. Yes, Jesus healed the boy and commanded the demon to leave but it was a violent process. Once the demon left the boy “became as a corpse” and many people thought he was dead. You see, yes the process to healing or breaking free or trusting God for whatever it is in your life is possible with God, but it’s going to be hard. God is riding your life of the things which keep you from God and it’s not fun to go through that! It may take everything you have so that you have nothing left and it may even seem like you are dead. But then just as the scriptures go on to say in verse 27, “Then Jesus took his hand and lifted him up and he arose.” So too, Christ will not leave you broken, He lifts us up!

Oh God may we be obedient to go through the hard times and the rough places so that we may be cleansed from that which hinders us from being transformed into the likeness of your son, knowing that even though it may require all we have you will not forsake us, but will lift us up!

So whoever you are reading this, I don’t know what it is that you are struggling with. But I know that my God is, “able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.” Eph 3:20. Don’t be afraid to let God know you are afraid or you are having trouble trusting Him. Pray, as I am, that He would help our unbelief, and may we together ‘trust God and get going.’

I am going to add a link to watch what is going on a passion 2013. Any free time you have to watch these sessions will be well worth it! May God bless you as you seek Him!