back to school . . .

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And so it begins, block 3 of my medical school career. I must admit that the drive back yesterday seemed much longer than normal. The last 2.5 weeks have been amazing! I stayed pretty busy visiting with family and such, but it was so worth it! For the first time really, I understood how great it is to be with family for the holidays! Nothing else really mattered. We welcomed my new niece Autumn Ruth Boyd into the world on December 16th and had a blast getting to know her already calm quiet spirit over these first 3 weeks of her life. And then of course there is Kelvin her older brother who just turned 2 in November. He is still just as active and crazy as ever! Amidst all the fun and time together I did catch up on sleep and am so thankful! I actually got to the point where I thought I was ready to come back to school and get started again.

Yet that drive back as usual brings with it that gnawing in my stomach. The since of dread because I am leaving behind so many people whom I dearly love and care for. Never has leaving been easy and I am afraid it never will be. Relationships have always been really important to me, and in a way I feel as though being here in Virginia I have had to give up on too many relationships back home. One of the hardest things for me here is knowing that I am missing out on important things in people’s lives. I hate not being there. I miss the girls I used to disciple, and those who used to disciple me. At one point Satan really had me down thinking I had given up and left many people out to dry by going off to medical school. But, I must remind myself that this is where God wants me right now. This is my mission field and exactly where I am supposed to be. Even though I have left, God is still there and I have to leave all those relationships at His feet and trust that He is more than able to take care of any needs on either end. I realized that part of surrendering all to God and following where He leads means entrusting all relationships to Him.

Graciously the Lord has given me many great friends and relationships to foster here in Virginia, but to everyone back home please know I have not forgotten you and I really do miss you dearly! This coming block is supposed to be difficult and will likely require much of me, I trust in the God who sent me here to take care of my needs as well as the needs of those whom I had to leave at home. I selfishly want to ask for your prayers as I head into this block with all of the challenges both academically and with life in general, but God has also shown me how selfish I am, and that many of the trials He has allowed are really to rid me of the selfishness in me. I have been extremely blessed throughout my life and it has been wonderful, but also made me very selfish and used to comfort. One of the things I am asking the Lord for this year is that He would increase my love for Him so above all else that I would let go of the selfishness and pride that keep me from all He has for me here.   

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