Time Out!

This morning I woke up to none other than a veggie tales song stuck in my head. It made me smile remembering all the times my nephew would ask to watch ‘larry-bob’ on my laptop or Iphone. Of course I always gave in and there we would sit for video after video of ‘silly songs with Larry.’ And then it never fails that for the next few days songs like ‘The bubble rap” and ‘where have all the staplers gone’ would play over and over in my mind. But I enjoyed it, simply remembering how my 2 year old nephew would try to sing along with them. So, as today started it brought with it that familiar longing to be somewhere else. Somewhere, anywhere, as long as I could be with the family.

This weekend has been full of snow. Well, to a Tennessean who was lucky to see ½ an inch of snow fall throughout the winter, it has been full of snow. Thursday I stood in my anatomy lab reviewing the vasculature of the brain, the cranial nerves, gyri, sulci, and features of the brain. Around 1:30 the snow started falling and we could see it clearly through the large windows that made up two of the four walls of our lab. They told us that we all had to be out of the building by 4 so they could prepare for the snow. But, around 3 they came around and basically kicked us out anyway. Only in a medical school would you have to actually tell students to leave an anatomy lab while snow is falling. I mean we do have our first practical on Wednesday which means, at that point, we only had about 6 days left to prepare.

It took me about 45 mins to drive the 10 miles home because everyone was creeping along through the snow fall that look like a blizzard to me! My roommate drove behind me to make sure I didn’t slide off the road, and I’m sure the PA native was laughing her head off at my reactions to the snow! When we finally did reach our house there was a good inch and half on the ground! I knew I would be so tempted to play in the snow and so I took all my books and papers to the basement, faced a corner where I could not look outside, and got to work. Surprisingly I was rather productive until my neighbor came calling and her 7 year old son asked me to play in the snow with him. And of course I caved. J By this point we had about 6 inches of snow, more than I had ever seen! In this one weekend I fulfilled just about all my dreams of playing in the snow. Snow balls fights, sledding, snowboarding, making snow cream, a really cool snowman, and of course football in the snow! Unfortunately however, that means I haven’t done nearly as much studying.

And so then to go along with my back ground music of veggie tales this morning, I was extremely sore from all that playing in the snow! When I went to bed last night, I briefly scanned facebook as I usually do and had noticed the recent accomplishments of some of my really good friends. Their organization has really taken off and is doing some really cool things. Looking at it all, I was getting rather frustrated and angry. At one point I was a part of what they were doing, and I had the opportunity to continue working with them. But, I’m not and last night I wished I was. I did a lot of praying last night, about my heart and my attitude towards where God has me now. So when I woke up early from muscle soreness and veggie tales songs, I got up knowing God wanted to talk to me, and I really needed to listen.

I had a Bible study scheduled for 10 at the local Panera. So I got ready and headed over early to get in the Word and prepare my heart. I got my coffee and bagel and sat there with my Bible. I didn’t even know where to turn, but I turned on my music to help get the veggie tales out of my head. And in doing so God spoke. I was listening to Tenth Avenue North and this is what I heard:

                ‘You came to take us back to the start. You came to touch the hardness of our hearts. You came to bring us truth. The truth is who you are. It’s who you are . . . Immanuel, God with us . . . You came to break the chains apart, to wake the dead and sleeping of our hearts. You came to bring us truth. The truth is who you are, it’s who you are.’ (The Truth is Who You Are)

Through all of this God showed me how hard my heart has become. I have lost sight of Him, been too concerned with me and my comfort. Again and again He has reminded me of Isaiah 43:17, “YOU are my witnesses and my servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe me and understand that I AM HE.” Not only has He saved me and made me His, but He has called me here to medical school and allowed me to know Him in a way most people never get to understand. He is allowing me to see and understand more and more of His awesomeness every time I study. Studying is not a burden. It’s a gift, a chance to get more of a glimpse of my creator.

Then during my Bible study with other medical students we read 1 Peter, this week as an overview and then we will dive in deeper in the coming weeks. Peter wrote this letter to believers who were being persecuted under Nero, one of if not the worse persecutor of the church. He was a CRAZY ruler! In this letter is where Peter tells them to rejoice in their sufferings for what it is producing in them is for the praise, glory, and honor of Christ. He tells them in verses 13 and 14, “Therefore, set your minds ready for action, being self-disciplined, and set your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the desires of your former ignorance.” Ouch! I think God was trying to tell me something!

I am not nearly suffering like the Christians Peter was writing to here, but I do believe that in smaller ways I am suffering for Christ. And I am so thankful! I have had the completely wrong attitude for the beginning of this block of school, and praise God that He would not allow me to continue on like that! He “has given me everything for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him” 2Peter1:3 and I should be so thankful for the opportunities He has given me, and view every hardship that comes my way as an opportunity for His glory! Praise God that He does not allow us to continue on in our sin, but that He disciplines us and brings us back to Him! I would not trade an easy comfortable life of wealth for my life with Christ, NOT EVER!!!!!!! No matter what suffering comes my way, I know it is for His glory and my edification!