"We are the clay and You our potter" Isa 64:8

In filling out multiple applications, it has come to my attention that I have survived 21 science, 5 math, 5 chemistry, and 42 total classes, as well as 17 labs and way too many papers, presentations, and exams. Today, semester number 7 of my undergraduate career has come to a close, and not a moment too soon! With only 9 hours needed to graduate from the University of Tennessee, it’s hard to believe I’ve been here for almost 4 years. I never imagined I would be where I am today. In looking back at how much I have been blessed this past semester, it is extremely hard to put into words all the great things God has done and continues to do! I so enjoyed working with the Lady Vol soccer team, and am thankful I can continue that work next semester. God is really at work there and has allowed me to see and be part of an amazing work of His. I have officially been invited to complete step 2, filling out a secondary application, for both LMU and VCOM medical schools. Unfort...

Today marked a sad end to the lady vol soccer season. For all the hard work and great things they have done all year I hate to see them walk away in defeat. Yet, I know many more great things are coming from these women and I cannot wait to see the amazing things they do and become! I am honored to have been a part of this season and would not trade it for anything! On a different note, this past week God has allowed to me to get through the first major step towards medical school. I have now officially submitted my application to AMCAS. This large application has been sent to VT, ETSU, UT Memphis and Meharry Medical schools. Once these schools review it, depending on whether or not I pass their initial screening, they will send me an email with their secondary application. Once that is complete if I pass the second screening I will go for an interview and then a final decision will be made. So there is still a very long journey ahead before I know if I get into a medi...

I have wrestled for a while about sharing this latest chapter in the life of Janie simply because it is so personal and not very pretty. But it’s life and if anyone can learn from it or use it to deepen their walk with Christ than it’s worth it. And I have a feeling I’m not the only one out there struggling like this. My spiritual battle has always been in my mind. On the outside I may look like I have things half-way together but truth is war is waging in my head. For a long time I never knew why I struggled so much keeping my thoughts on Christ or even on good, true things, I always assumed it was sin and I just wasn’t strong enough to give it to Christ completely. The more I learned through science classes in school I came to realize all those thoughts were symptoms of depression. Wait . . . what? . . . Me? That makes no sense. . . but does it? Then came the guilt of well if I’m really a Christian I shouldn’t be depressed, I have Christ and that’s all that...

Mondays are my super long days. I have class from 9am until 8pm with all of 2 short breaks. After class is FCA and so it has become extremely hard for me to stay another 2 hours on campus to attend. This afternoon I received a text from one of the FCA leaders. She said the leadership team was going to Montgomery Village tonight to hang out with some of the high school kids there and talk with them. She asked if I could speak to them about anything that was on my heart. Honestly, I didn’t want to, I hadn’t been having that great of a day and definitely did not ‘feel’ filled with the Spirit by any means to talk to anyone about Christ. But they were leaving at 7:30 before I would be out of class and so I thought I had dodged that bullet. Well I went on about my day and at the end of my last class we had a quiz, so I finished it and left. I had no idea what time it was or anything. As I walk out of the building, the car in front of me stops and the window rolls down. It was ...

This weekend I had the pleasure of spending time with some of my Zimbabwe team members. We all met in DC to surprise our team leader for her birthday. Its crazy how close we have become through only the one trip to Africa. A 9 hour bus ride on Friday there and a return 9 hour ride back on Sunday was so worth the short time we had together! I am the youngest member of the group by a few years and they love to remind me of it. I just honestly am so thankful that God allowed me to meet each of them! I sat at dinner tonight wondering how in the world I was in the company of such amazing people! The things that God is doing through them are, well God sized big! The opportunities and doors He is opening to them, to us, continues to completely amaze me. Actually, it is so much, and so awesome, I struggle knowing God has called me to medical school. I would be content right now to drop out of school and work with them the rest of my life! I long to become even an understudy of...

This morning I woke up on my day off to watch Andrew's cross country race. He did well, finishing in 3rd just not as well as we had hoped. But I'm hoping this will make him hungry for a win the rest of the season. On the drive back to my parents house he and I got in my truck rolled down the windows and turned our favorite music up as loud as we wanted. We drove down hardin valley drive just enjoying life. Then I had a flash back to when I was much younger. I was riding in the car with my dad and Andrew with the windows down and the three of us were singing at the top of our lungs. I remember thinking I couldn't wait for the day when I had my own truck with little sideways seats in the back and could drive with the windows down blaring my music all I wanted to. And now probably 15 or so years later I am enjoying doing just that. And it occurred to me then that it really is these little things that make life so fun. The Lady Vol soccer team won again last night and moved to ...

I realize growing up is normal and eventually it happens to everyone whether they want it to or not. I have enjoyed passing different checkpoints throughout my life and the wisdom that comes with them. I really disliked my first two years of college even though I really love learning, but once I settled into a routine and actually met a few people I realized it wasn't so bad after all. My junior year was great. I had great classes, great friends, and life felt right even though I was in really really hard classes. But I knew that eventually I would be going to medical school which meant moving out and being thrown in the hardest level of schooling possible. Therefore, knowing myself and how I really do not adjust to change very well, I decided to get the moving out part over with. That way maybe I could be a little more adjusted to life on my own before being thrown into medical school. My hope was that if I move in with a really good friend and stayed busy with my normal stuff at ...

Today we present on the center for sport peace and society in front of the board of advisers for the dean of my college. The response was so much better than we had anticipated and they really seemed to buy into our ideas. I really feel they are behind us now and we can really move forward with raising support to make it a reality. Our next move is to make our idea public and get it out there as much as possible. Then, hopefully, God will provide the money needed to turn our ideas into a reality. I really believe huge incredible things will one day come of this and that gets me super pumped!

This afternoon I had the honor of speaking at a luncheon to raise support for the Center for Sport, Peace, and Society. We are trying to create a center on campus that would be an extension of what we are already doing as far as sport and peace building. Our hopes are to expand our service learning course with the refugees to include more departments on campus and hopefully eventually have the opportunities for study abroad using sport to help in different areas of the world. The luncheon today was our way of getting the information about the center out and in the hands of people who can make it happen. It went so well, and two members of the audience openly voiced their support and encouraged others to jump in fast. I really believe amazing things can and will come of this. I am so thankful God has allowed me to be a part of it! I have so many moments where I am in awe of what He is doing, and I seriously wonder how in the world I ended up in the middle of it! God has been so graciou...

It is now my second week of school. Honestly I have been rather bored in my classes. I always thought it would be a good idea to take all my hard classes first and save the easy ones for Sr. year. Well, that just means the easy ones are even easier since you've already learned most of the material in the hard classes. My biology 140 classes spent almost an hour going over electrons , protons, and neutrons and the bonds they create to make molecules. I mean it is a freshman level class, but for someone who just finished a year's worth of organic chemistry I could have spend that time doing much more meaningful things. My other classes are going well, none are hard but I'm hoping they will present a little more of a challenge than my biology class. I really don't want my brain to turn to mush! Outside of class, working with the soccer team is great! I still only know a few names but I 'm having fun and don't mind being there all the time. Many doors have already ...

Today started the beginning of my senior year of college. I think it would mean more if it were actually my last year of school instead of my last year of undergrad. Its hard to get excited when I still have at least 7 more years of school beyond UT. It hasn't even been a week since I arrived home from Zimbabwe, and I have already jumped head first into athletic training and school. Yesterday I sat on the side of the Lady Vol soccer field watching our girls practice in one of the best women's soccer facilities in the nation. They all had matching cleats, socks, shorts, and practice jerseys. Only a week ago I had watched as girls only a little younger then they had played barefoot on a hole-infested field .They had no jerseys or cleats with which to play. They were only content that t hey had the chance to play. You know, with this being my fourth trip to Africa I thought I wouldn't really get culture shock. I mean I've seen this kind of poverty before but every ti...

Church in Africa is rather different than church in the U.S. For starters, if you want people to show up by 10 you should tell them 9, and then just plan on having a late lunch because there is no telling when you'll be done. We prepared for a 2 and a half hour service where I would lead a few songs and Sarah our leader would share a message from Exodus. The rest of the time would be filled with any songs they wanted to teach us or just singing together. This was our plan, but God had something else in mind. When we pulled up in our massive vehicle, the whole village knew we were there, and the children came running. Our service was full of children with a few adults and some of the girls we were there to work with. We started singing some children's Bible songs and then decided to redo the message to better accommodate the number of children there. Sarah told of Noah's ark and had the children act it out as she told it. She then explained the message and meaning behind th...

After about 30 hours of traveling I touched down in Knoxville again. Before I jump back in to reality I want to pause and rewind to spotlight the events of my journey to Zimbabwe. When we arrived in Harare, my heart almost jumped out of me with one breath of crisp African air. It was finally real. I was finally back in Africa! My team consisted of other women with my same passions through which lifelong friendships were made. When we arrived at our dorms we unpacked and then quickly re-packed for the 5 day journey ahead of us. We drove the next day to Antelope Park where we had our safari drive and were able to walk with lions and play with elephants. Throughout the day I was amazed by God’s creation. Everywhere I turned He seemed to show Himself in a more awesome way. Our second day at the park we left early to head to Mutare Zimbabwe. Two of our team members had been corresponding with a family there for about 8 years and we were going to try and surprise them. The drive took about ...

Today I heard form our Zimbabwe team leader who arrived there on Tuesday. She informed us of the weather, food, and what our living conditions would be like, all of which made me almost explode with excitement! She then began to share with us about her conversations with one of our hosts, Titsie . Titsie told her some of the horrific stories from 2007 when the gvt started "operation trash out" where they tried to rid Zimbabwe of its "trashy people." The place my team and I will be staying served as a refuge for many trying to escape the soldiers. She told of people whose hands, arms, and legs had been chopped off by machetes and one women who was burned from the waste down. My team is staying in Harare the capitol city where healing from this tragedy is more evident. However, the township where we will be working was one that was completely wiped out and still struggling. A local Zimbabwean even said it is hard for her to go there and she warned we may have trou...

As some of you may or may not know, this past year I have felt God calling me to go to medical school. Two days before classes were to start last fall I sat in front of my computer agonizing over the decision to completely change my class schedule to include the dreaded organic chemistry. After much prayer I redid my entire schedule. I cannot fully express the blessings that rained down after that night. Changing my schedule put me in a class that worked with Iraqi refugees. (But this story will have to wait because it brought so many more blessings and opportunities!) Even though I had to sit through an organic class, I knew I was supposed to be there and that gave me a confidence and joy I had not had before. I took two of the most difficult classes that semester: Organic Chemistry I and Human Physiology. I figured if God could get me through both of those together than maybe He really did want me to go to medical school. Looking back, that was by far my best and favorite semester....