My cup Runneth Over

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“Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I Will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies, thou anoinest my head with oil; my cup runnith over.” Psalm 23:4,5
Don’t get me wrong, my first 2 weeks of residency have not been the valley of the shadow of death. But I have seen evil face to face in more ways than I would have liked. I’ve been surrounded by an environment rather devoid of the God I love. I only worked 72 hours this past week and about the same the first week.  But, at the same time, the other residents have been wonderful and I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know them and working alongside them. They have been incredibly patient with me in all my questions and inefficiency. I had honestly prepared for the worst. I thought I would be half asleep all the time, trying to keep my head above water while those around would be aggravated at how ‘green’ I was. Not to mention, I expected it to be incredibly difficult to live intentionally and not just survive residency.  And yet, thus far none of that has happened. Actually, I am rather enjoying myself!

We are very busy and the days seem to fly by, but God has been so amazing and faithful! Each day as I get up He has renewed my strength. I may still yawn at work at times, but He keeps me going. I have been amazed at the peace and clarity He has given me even when we get swamped and I would normally feel overwhelmed. He has enabled me to still be able to take time with my patients and their parents and not get frustrated when they have a ton of questions and I have a ton of things to do. As I look back on each day when I get in my truck to drive home, it hits me that I really am tired and maybe overwhelmed or frustrated, but somehow I did not feel it all day until right then. That is just God’s grace, plain and simple!

I had heard before, probably growing up in church, to pray each day that God would fill you up, give you your portion for the day, so you can be poured out. He gives you just enough for each day. His grace is there and enough. But the portion He gives you only lasts you that day or in that moment or situation, because He wants you to be totally dependent on Him, to come back each morning and ask again and again and again. He wants you to cry out to Him as you face that situation that seems bigger than life or too hard to bear. For the first time in my life, I get it. I’ve known this for years and prayed it even. But the past 2 weeks I’ve been living it! And I am loving life! I’m not overwhelmed nor do I despair when I think about doing this constantly for 3 years! Rather I am quite excited, and I praise God for bringing me here!


Why is it that we must be in the midst of something hard and ‘uncomfortable’ to be forced to rely on God? Why is it that now in what is seemingly the physically and mentally toughest part of my life that I feel God the closest? I don’t really know, but it does seem to fit according to God’s character in how He draws us to Him. But even if I don’t understand it all, I’m so thankful He brought me here, and that He has been faithful to fill me up each day, because I literally feel like I’ve been poured out to the last drop at the end of the day. But isn’t that how it should be? In the times that we live in and in the dark secular world that surrounds us, we must pour out all that God has filled us with. Maybe, just maybe this is how we soar on wings like Eagles, or how we thrive instead of just survive? Don’t get me wrong, I have not arrive, not do I deserve this amazing grace that God has poured out on me, it is only His grace! I am just so thankful for the prayers of God’s people who have lifted me up to Him. I honestly think this is a direct answer to those prayers. Thanks to each of you, may God so fill you each day!     

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