Remembering to breath again
When we arrived safely into the city and I stepped off the plane, it took all of one breath to realize something major. I knew the smell, I knew the thickness of the air, the white and yellow stripped curbs along the road. 5 times I have been to Africa in 6 different countries. I always thought it was just Africa. I had even been to Mexico, but maybe I didn't realize it then. These developing nations, they are all basically the same. I couldn't help the smile that creeped across my face as I took it a breath full of dirt that had been kicked up off the road. The rooster that aided in my waking up this morning again brought a smile to face instead of a wish to shoot it. In just about all my senses, I feel, well, kind like I'm home. There's just something about it, I can't explain. The slower pace, the simple life, being grateful for a hot shower: . . . Ahhhhhh I feel like myself again!
As we drove about an hour to the top of a nearby mountain to set up a clinic inside a church building, it was brought to my remembrance that this is why I came to VCOM in the first place. This is the dusty, smelly, beautiful road I felt God was calling me on. And they were the only med school that takes these trips regularly and has them as rotation sites for 3rd and 4th year students. That's what gave me peace knowing I was going to the right place, and I was right in the center of Gods will. And yet, throughout the last 2 years with all of the studying I have slowing grown somewhat away from my love of missions. I spent 3 days preparing this time instead of the normal 3 weeks or even 3 months! I know part of that is all the work that needed to be done for school before I left, but still I wasn't nearly as excited as I have been in the past. I mean, I even slept some the night before we left! That never used to happen!
But it didn't take long for God to remind me of it all. Since I stepped of the plane yesterday afternoon, the movie line that keeps running through my mind is from Despicable Me when one of the little girls screams out in joy, "I'm SOOOO Haaaaaappyyyyyy!!!!" And yet with this joy and really peace of spirit, comes a bit of unsettlement. And yet with that joy comes the sorrow and sometimes frustration in seeing that my classmates with me just don't get it. Oh, how I pray they get it! And oh how I pray that I don't judge them in the mean time!
Already just today, our first day, I saw us go from spending time with each patient to care for them and love on them, to: how fast can we get this done and go back? And unfortunately I am among those. Not to mention I came face to face with how much I just don't know knowledge wise! It feels like I have bits and pieces of many things but only a few connect. Thankfully the physicians we are working with are great teachers, and I now have a story and a face to go with Shigella instead of just a notecard of bullet points. Now those bullet points are pieces of a puzzle and I've seen the picture. Now I am learning to know the story behind some of my classmates, thus helping me to not get frustrated so easily!
I've also realized something, I knew God gave me a heart for the under served, the oppressed, those no one else is going to. At first I thought it was specific to Africa, then maybe it's anyone regardless of country, but today I realized that though I do care deeply for those most in need throughout the world, there's something special about 3rd world countries. I don't don't why but God gave me heart for these people, in the villages, who must travel for days to see a doctor. I don't know what that means for the future, because I'm not the one planning it, nothing in my life has ever felt more right then today using what little I know to help these precious people!
I feel like I am in my element and I am so very thankful God would let me be here at this time, when board studying was about to suffocate me to death! He is oh so gracious! And we are having a devotion each morning and I will have the opportunity to share something which those classmates who come later this week! The only problem is, I have no idea what God wants me to say yet! Please pray that God would show me, and that I would not let my pride get in the way of His work! Pray for the people, that somehow Gods light would shine regardless of language barrier and regardless of the short amount of time we may have together! Pray for my classmates that they would be moved In a life changing kind of way. The kind of change only a God as big as ours can bring! As for me, I am in my happy place! So, praise God with me that He would allow me to get rejuvenated before having to grind it out for boards!
Soaking up the seconds!
Janie
As we drove about an hour to the top of a nearby mountain to set up a clinic inside a church building, it was brought to my remembrance that this is why I came to VCOM in the first place. This is the dusty, smelly, beautiful road I felt God was calling me on. And they were the only med school that takes these trips regularly and has them as rotation sites for 3rd and 4th year students. That's what gave me peace knowing I was going to the right place, and I was right in the center of Gods will. And yet, throughout the last 2 years with all of the studying I have slowing grown somewhat away from my love of missions. I spent 3 days preparing this time instead of the normal 3 weeks or even 3 months! I know part of that is all the work that needed to be done for school before I left, but still I wasn't nearly as excited as I have been in the past. I mean, I even slept some the night before we left! That never used to happen!
But it didn't take long for God to remind me of it all. Since I stepped of the plane yesterday afternoon, the movie line that keeps running through my mind is from Despicable Me when one of the little girls screams out in joy, "I'm SOOOO Haaaaaappyyyyyy!!!!" And yet with this joy and really peace of spirit, comes a bit of unsettlement. And yet with that joy comes the sorrow and sometimes frustration in seeing that my classmates with me just don't get it. Oh, how I pray they get it! And oh how I pray that I don't judge them in the mean time!
Already just today, our first day, I saw us go from spending time with each patient to care for them and love on them, to: how fast can we get this done and go back? And unfortunately I am among those. Not to mention I came face to face with how much I just don't know knowledge wise! It feels like I have bits and pieces of many things but only a few connect. Thankfully the physicians we are working with are great teachers, and I now have a story and a face to go with Shigella instead of just a notecard of bullet points. Now those bullet points are pieces of a puzzle and I've seen the picture. Now I am learning to know the story behind some of my classmates, thus helping me to not get frustrated so easily!
I've also realized something, I knew God gave me a heart for the under served, the oppressed, those no one else is going to. At first I thought it was specific to Africa, then maybe it's anyone regardless of country, but today I realized that though I do care deeply for those most in need throughout the world, there's something special about 3rd world countries. I don't don't why but God gave me heart for these people, in the villages, who must travel for days to see a doctor. I don't know what that means for the future, because I'm not the one planning it, nothing in my life has ever felt more right then today using what little I know to help these precious people!
I feel like I am in my element and I am so very thankful God would let me be here at this time, when board studying was about to suffocate me to death! He is oh so gracious! And we are having a devotion each morning and I will have the opportunity to share something which those classmates who come later this week! The only problem is, I have no idea what God wants me to say yet! Please pray that God would show me, and that I would not let my pride get in the way of His work! Pray for the people, that somehow Gods light would shine regardless of language barrier and regardless of the short amount of time we may have together! Pray for my classmates that they would be moved In a life changing kind of way. The kind of change only a God as big as ours can bring! As for me, I am in my happy place! So, praise God with me that He would allow me to get rejuvenated before having to grind it out for boards!
Soaking up the seconds!
Janie
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