Crunch time

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This is one of those places it never really occurred to me that I would be in. A few weeks ago, I had my last lecture over new material to study EVER! Granted I still have boards to take in June and thus I have some review lectures, but all my exams from here on out are kind of a big deal and their number is like small enough that I can count them on my hands!

As I have fill blown began studying like crazy for this next exam in June, I feel like G is really finally helping me out of this drought I’ve been in. I had been so bogged down with school, and life in general. But every day over and over I would just hear Him say, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God” The more I dwelt on it, the more I realize how He has been giving me the key to all of this all along. I’ve realized how little my faith has been to not trust Him with everything and just run after Him. I wish it were as simple as just flipping a switch and saying okay now I will just seek Him first and not worry about the rest, but it has been a daily struggle. I have also still been contemplating the question, how do we continue to pour ourselves out daily and hurt when our patients hurt without becoming hard or letting it rip us to shreds? Again, I kept hearing Him say ‘seek ye first.’ I’m still working on it, because I know that He is enough to enable us to do anything, no exceptions. But here is what I have so far: If we can learn to seek Him first, then we will be continually, daily filled up with Him, His love, His mercy, His compassion, His patience. Then when we are continually poured out, it is really Him being poured out not us. And when we hurt with our patients, He hurts too, and we can leave them at His feet knowing “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” or He will work all things for their good. We can know that He hurts more than we do, and He has it under control. I’m not sure how this all plays out in real everyday life yet, other than everyday choosing to seek Him first. But I know He will get us there, if we are faithful and if we can trust Him. It seems so simple, but isn’t that just like Him?

Tomorrow I am headed to Honduras with VCOM to work in some area clinics in the capitol. I am so ready and so thankful for the timing to give me a break from this intense studying! I could use a reminder of why I’m in school right now! But I also know I am going to learn so much! The physicians going with us are amazing and I feel like a sponge every time I’m around them! It’s like a win, win, win, because I get a break from school, I’ll be learning like crazy, and I get to pour myself out and just love on people again! I have so missed just having the time to love and serve people! I also know this will be a great opportunity to really get to know my classmates who are going and hopefully share some with them as well! Ah! I already feel like I can breathe better! Haha!

Will you please join  me in prayer as I head to Honduras? Pray that God will teach me medically and spirtitually, pray for the people there that I will have opportunities to show Christ to them, and for my classmates most of whom do not know Christ themselves. Pray God will give me opportunities to get to know them better and share truth with them as well! Please also pray for me as we return. These next few months leading up to my boards on June 25th will be grueling, an average of 12 hours a day of studying. I know God will get me there and He will be my strength day in and day out, and He is my wisdom. Please pray that I will be faithful to seek Him first no matter what, and trust that He will fill in the rest!

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