Staying afloat

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You know that place where you just kind of feel stuck. Where you know you should do something, move in a direction, but you just can't figure out which direction is right. That times about 5 is where I have been lately. Knowing I need to move, but too confused and overwhelmed to pick a direction, I just stayed in one place. I know med school is hard and I know I won't have all the answers so why have I been so caught up in trying to find them?

I finally did move, not really in any direction. But, I just decided  to back up a little bit. Remember that story about Peter walking on water? Peter was doing something impossible. He stepped out completely on faith, choosing to focus only on Christ. Even with all that was going on around him, he stepped out in faith. It would have been easy to stay stuck in the boat.  Is that Jesus? Is it a ghost? Do I really need to get out of the boat I mean he IS walking this way? Are there sharks in the water? Can I swim against this current and storm? Stuck. But that's not what happened, he didn't dwell on all the questions, the unknown future, or even the known present circumstances. He chose  to focus solely on Christ and he got out of the boat. 

I know it's kind of a stretch to compare school to walking on water, but God did bring me here on faith. He has been faithful  to keep me afloat. But just like Peter when I started looking at everything around me, I stopped walking towards Christ, completely focused on Him and I started sinking. Yesterday and maybe even today have been 2 of the hardest  days being a med student. Yet, I don't have any exams for a whole week! I have allowed life to take control and thus I have been stuck. 

The best part about this story in the Bible, is that as soon as Peter reached out for help, Christ forgave and saved him again. Jesus didn't criticize or punish him allowing him to sink even more or banish him to 'time out' once they returned to the boat. The grace of God is much greater than any lack of faith we have. So today and this week, I'm taking the opportunity of having zero tests to refocus and cry out. The truth is the waves are crashing, there is a storm, but since when did that really matter? God is still God and he deserves our undivided attention always, storm or no storm.  

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