Raising my White Flag

You would think that once God brought you to the place of complete surrender that He would help you stay there. Well, ok He does, but that doesn't mean it's a fight against self to not run away! I mean there is a reason Jesus tells us in Luke 9 that "if anyone wants to come with me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me." 

That first moment of surrender, can be such a struggle and yet such a relief to finally give EVERYTHING to Christ. It's exhilarating to finally give in and know God can and will use you to complete His purposes and to be willing to follow whatever the cost. Too bad those emotions don't stay with you when you actually start to live the surrendered life. It really is a daily struggle, and as I read once from a source unfortunately I cannot remember, "Obedience is not an on the spot decision. It is a die-cast decision beforehand." Everyday we must make the decision that when the moment comes that day we will decide to follow Christ, to deny ourselves. Then when the moment comes, the battle has already been decided. 

Stepping out on faith doesn't come with care-free living. It will be hard and frankly there are times when it feels like it's too much. Surrender for me was med school. Leaving everything I knew and following what I knew God wanted for me. I had to step out on faith before I even knew I wanted to be a physician let alone  be a good one. Its great to think of all the great things God could do here, and all the amazing things He has already done. But when the going gets rough it's all too easy to focus on all that has been given up, all that has been surrendered and want it back. It's easy to feel alone and forgotten and try to run to comfort. It's easy to forget the God who lead you where you are now and who is even then holding you. It's easy to forget the blessing of surrender, knowing Him more intimately. And so we must surrender anew everyday. 

In the sermon on the mount, Jesus tells us "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you." It is not our job to worry about everything else. He made us to know Him and to glorify Him. This is our aim, God Himself, and then He will take care of the rest. Again, when we are not focused on Him, life falls apart. I mean quite frankly we cannot hold everything together on our own, life is too complicated. But you know what is so awesome about my God, "He is before all things, and by Him all things hold together" (Colossians 1:17). How many times does God have to tells us before we believe Him that He's got our back. Even once we have surrendered to Him, we can't stay there without His help, but "He who began a good work in you, will complete it " (Phil 1:6) 

We cannot live the life we were created for on our own. Not when its 'easy' and good and not when it's hard. God has something so much better for us right now and forever, but it requires a daily repentance and subjection to the authority of Almighty God. And even when we give up, try it on our own and end up drowning, He is still there to pick us back up and take over when we repent. It has been my limited experience that whatever it is that is holding you back from surrender, it pales so drastically in comparison to what God has for you on the other side. So, for all of us, why don't we just let go!