Live from the Jungle

Today we returned to Pucallpa from being on the river. We were able to see about 500 patients between 5 villages over the past few days. Life on the boat was wonderful, minus the bugs of course. Laying in a hammock on top of the boat just watching the jungle pass by - I’m not sure the last time I was that relaxed and at peace. I’m usually listening to music or sermons or reading during travel times abroad, but this time I was content to just ‘be.’ We had a lot of patients that simply wanted some Tylenol or ibuprofen for normal aches and pains, many wanted treatment for parasites and just about all of them asked for vitamins. Yet sprinkled throughout, someone would open up and share something we could really help with. In the past few days I’ve seen all the rashes (fungus, bacteria, parasites and all), Dengue fever, chronic obstructive lung disease, a few precious newborn babies, undiagnosed Down’s syndrome, retinoblastoma, and septic mastitis. Each of the villages was small enough that we could see everyone who came out in half a day. The second villages even mentioned that no one had ever stopped there before because they were so small. It was quite the blessing to be able to love on them. I managed and actually quite enjoyed sleeping on top of the boat on my hammock with its mosquito net. Our last night on the river we arrived to the village early and were able to play volleyball and soccer with them. Then they had an impromptu church service with us. We sang Jesus Loves Me in 3 different languages. The pastor of this church is a graduate of the Bible Institue we are partnering with on this trip. Apparently their village loves to have ‘church’ and often meets nightly. We had the opportunity to share the Gospel with many, pray over and love on all, and this morning a member of our team was baptized in the river. So, yeah it’s been a good trip so far. Tonight we return to Pucallpa and tomorrow will serve the families of the students at the Bible Institute. God is so good and I’m extremely thankful He has allowed me to be here. So, thank you all for your prayers and support.

Liturgy

I came to the humbling realization tonight that I do not know many ‘big words’ like ‘liturgy.’ I mean I do, but I don’t. Tomorrow I am heading to Peru and so I don’t want to ramble. But I do feel I have something to share as God is preparing me to go.  

The state of our Country in the present is quite unsettling as we know. It seems as though the mundane and normal comfortable ‘Christian’ life is catching up to us. In coming to Memphis God really gave me back a desire and a hunger to know Him and run after Him again. But even in the things I have been blessed to be part of I still felt as though there was more I am missing. That I need to be going deeper. I’m at a strange point in life and I honestly have no idea where God is taking me next. In my job search I feel like the disciples just casting my net over and over and for what I don’t know. Almost waiting for God to say cast it yet once more. All the while I have had several things come up to challenge my view on missions both here and abroad and the correct way to evangelize and or disciple. I know God is up to something because Satan has thrown some spiritual warfare at me that I didn’t see coming and God in His grace has allowed me to get my head back in time to leave for Peru. 

So, there’s a brief overview of the what’s been going on up to this point. Tonight I went to my first Memphis CMDA chapter gathering. As is typical for me I sat in my truck outside the house for a while debating if it was worth facing my social anxiety to go in alone not knowing hardly anyone. Thanks be to God that He pushes us. I felt the awkwardness as all these well establish physicians who knew each other are chatting and I’m walking around trying to not seem so out of place. I finally sit and meet some other women physicians and of course it was lovely getting to know them. Then Dr. John Patrick spoke. A man I had no idea existed, but whom I wish I had known quite a while longer. 

He hit at the root of my unrest: the problem of our country, our medical care and the developing world all in one talk. My mind is still grappling with all he said and the implications. Essentially, I am incredibly lazy. And, so is my generation and really our country. As a church we, I, have not taken the time to really know the Word of God. I haven’t taken the time to really know our history, not of my country nor that of the church. I know some arguments for and against abortion and homosexuality, but not to the extent I should. Just as the Israelites forgot their history and were doomed to repeat it over and over, just as a pharaoh arose in Egypt who did not remember Joseph . . . 

I am lazy and I’m tired of it. We’ve gotten too enthralled by television and social media (being entertained) that our minds are going to mush and we remain ignorant people; “children tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting” (Ephesians 4:14). I think God is calling me, and most likely many more people, to wake up and use these intellectual minds He has given us to make a difference. But we have to take the time to read and study from where we came and why we are here. And most importantly, we HAVE to KNOW His Word. “Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you shall be in your heart. You shall teach them to diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up” Deuteronomy 6:4-7. 

I am guilty of not doing as God has commanded. And I think He is calling me to take this seriously so that He can use me to stand against the immorality that is coming at high speed. How can we defend our faith if we do not truly know His Word? How can I defend against abortion or physician assisted suicide if I have not taken the time to study the subject and know what His Word says? I’m not a wise person in and of myself, but God has given us wise Believers and history to point us to something more than how we are wasting our lives. 

I want to know how to better defend my faith, the right to life, and the deity of Christ, and so forth and so on. I want to be different in a way that is more than how I live on the surface. And, I suspect there are a few people out there who feel the same. I think God is calling us out, because now is the time. For such a time as this. 

Tomorrow I head to the jungles of Peru just down river from where Jim Elliot and Nate Saint lost their lives. Yet the movement they and their families started lead to the salvation of the pastor I will be working with next week. How have we as a church lost that kind of passion for the Word of God? I want that. I want to be consumed with God in a way that allows me to really be used by Him for great and mighty things. We must “redeem the time for the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:16). And so, I have a lot of studying to do. Who’s with me?  

So Much Grace!

“For it is by the grace of God that I am what I am. And His grace towards me was not in vain, but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I but the grace of God which was with me” 1 Corinthians 15:10. 

One of my favorite things each year growing up was that my pastor would send a personalized birthday card to me each year. For a while I kept a stack of them each with their own verse that he was praying for me that year. I’ll never forget one of the last birthday cards I received from him. It had 1 Corinthians 15:10 in it as the verse he was praying over me that year. I was a young medical student struggling to not fail out of school and keep my eyes on Christ. When I read this verse it could not have come at a better time in my life. It became almost an anthem for me moving forward. I prayed that His grace would help me to labor more abundantly and to continue to become what He intended me to be. I could only hope that someday I may be in a sense ‘worthy’ to say His grace allowed me to work that well for Him. In residency many times I remember coming back to this verse as I passed step 3, or finished a hard month in the PICU , or even as I completed residency. Yes His grace got me there but I knew that I definitely did not labor more abundantly but only as much as I absolutely had to. Residency was hard. Not just in the typical amount of hours, or lack of sleep, or the hard cases of sick kids. But I found myself struggling to keep my faith like never before. So finishing was more like surviving and trying to stay intact. 

Then God brought me to Memphis, a place I never thought I’d call home. 

The first few months I spent legitimately every free moment studying for my pediatrics boards. The dreaded 8 hour exam to cover all 3 years of residency with a national 1^st time pass rate of 70%. I started my ‘intense’ studying in February of this year and it took most of my attention even starting fellowship in July. Fellowship and boards alone were enough to make me go crazy with stress. But God made it obvious from the time I moved here that He had a purpose for me being here. The day after I moved in my parents made me go with them to Bellevue Baptist church just down the road. I say made me go, because it had not made the list of churches I had researched before moving. Quite frankly I took one glance at its size and marked it off. But due to the rich history of Dr Adrian Rodgers my parents and I found ourselves in the service at Bellevue on day 2 of being in Memphis. Sound Biblical theology, Spirit-lead services, and the genuine intentional heart of those who reached out to me while visiting there kept me coming back to Bellevue. Despite the size and the glamor, God was and is there. 

I could go on and on. But essentially, God has been reminding me who He is and what’s really important. The few weeks leading up to my boards here I had some pretty major spiritual battles. To say I was anxious would be a major understatement. I didn’t even know if I would make it to October 16^th to be able to even take my boards. But even in those few weeks I had lived in Memphis, God had already placed people in my life to make a huge difference. Several of the young women in my life group got together and made cards of encouragement that they gave me 2 days before boards. It was like the Father Himself took me in His arms that night reminding me that He saw me and He had it under control. I was forgetting who brought me to that place in my career in the first place, not to mention who made me and promised to complete me. So, after literally working harder and longer that I ever had and pushing myself to the brink, I let go. 

A few years ago on this same blog I wrote about something God showed me about the story of Jesus walking on the water in Matthew 14. Jesus had just fed the 5,000. He sent the disciples out on the boat and He went to the mountain to pray. Well, then of course a storm ensues and the disciples are stuck in the middle of the sea with waves tossing them every which way. Jesus comes to them walking on the water. We often seem to focus here on Peter and his faith and then distraction by the waves. But see this, when the disciples received Jesus into the boat, the wind ceased. Jesus calmed the storm. But John’s account of the story gives us one more detail in chapter 6:21, “Then they willingly received Him into the boat, and immediately the boat was at the land where they were going.” Did you catch that? Once the disciples encountered Christ, immediately they were on the other side where they were going. The point of that trip did not seem to be to actually get anywhere. As soon as Jesus was finished teaching them a lesson, as soon as the disciples had an encounter with God in flesh, they arrived. It seems to me that the point of this trip was to encounter God. And, I have found myself in a similar place here in Memphis. In the past 5 months my faith has been so greatly revived and restored. Even recently as I read from C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity” I find myself more in awe of God than ever. He has once again completely abolished the box I had tried to fit Him into. He allowed me to encounter Him again. 

I have also more recently written on here about the true meaning of success/ victory. As a physician it is often difficult to not see bad outcomes as failures. If only I was smarter, or better, or whatever then maybe my patient would be alive etc. Often I had to remind myself of 1 Corinthians 15:58 that my labor was not in vain when I did it for the Lord. This is rather fresh on my mind from my trip to Kenya this past January. So, with all of this in mind I was actually able to be at peace with taking my boards. For the first time I knew for certain that I had done literally everything I could and I really didn’t think I could have studied any harder or longer. Yet, I also knew that my life and thus my studying and work as a physician were only for the glory of the  Lord. I was confident that if God allowed me to not pass boards it was because He had another encounter for me, and once He accomplished His will He would get me through boards as well. Since taking that dreaded exam I have had the most fun getting to know some incredible women here in Memphis and growing closer to the Lord. I had all but forgotten about this exam.

Until I received the email today with results. Just like He has done time and time again, He gave me just enough. And that’s all I needed. His grace towards me truly was not in vain for He allowed me to labor more abundantly (finally), YET not I, but His grace which was with me! Now I sit as His feet weeping. For His grace, His love just seem so much sweeter and deeper than before. 

Today, I choose joy.

My brother is marring his wife today. My only brother with whom I have shared countless priceless memories. My only constant best friend through life. Through medical school and residency and multiple moves and many friends. My brother with whom I spent two years reading the Bible from Genesis to Revelation and discussing all God showed us. The one who celebrated multiple Lady Vol national championships with me and mourned the loss of Pat Summit with me. The one who drove 4 hours to watch TN men’s basketball beat KY at Rupp arena. The one who we joke is the male version me. What a special priceless gift God gave me in him! 

But I do not complete him nor was I made for him nor him for me. It has been a great gift that I will forever cherish but God has something so much greater for us both. And today  Andrew receives his. Today I chose to celebrate with him this wondrous gift God is giving him instead of focusing on my loss. My heart does grieve the relationship we had but on this morning of his wedding day I chose to call my emotions into check and make them obey Christ.  

Today is NOT about me but the amazing wonderful thing God is doing in the lives of these precious children of His, and it is a picture of the glorious wondrous Gospel! Rather than focusing on what I have lost, I chose to focus on what God has and is giving. Today is a representation of Christ and his love for the church (me). Today the vows they make before us are only a glimpse of the promises God has given me! To love and cherish me no matter what for all of eternity! And that is a promise made by someone who cannot break His promises! Not even when I am unfaithful to Him. 

He knows my needs and He is a good, good God! He not only will provide for my needs but has and is already. This morning here are my thoughts as the Lord brought me to Psalm 23. “The LORD,” Yahweh, the Creator, Almighty God, “is my Shepard.” He is mine and I am His! Though I am a lost helpless and mostly useless sheep, He is loving and leading me. “I shall not want.” He knows my every need, even when I do not. He knows  what, how and when I need it. And He is not the kind of father to give bad gifts, no, He is a good good Father! “He restores my soul.” Restore, as in to turn back, to deliver from destruction. He comes after me and turns my soul back to Him, the only place where there is fullness of joy and peace and love beyond measure. He leads me back on the path of righteousness. For His name sake He allows me to know Him and turns me back to Himself which is always the absolute best thing for me. “He anoints my head with oil, my cup runner hover.” Not only does He provide, but He does so exceedingly abundantly more than I could even ask or think. He gives according to the riches of His grace, which is endless! I am empty, dry and my heart has been poured out in tears, but that allows me to be filled up with Him and by HIM. And He does so to overflowing, showing His boundless love for me! “Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” All these wondrous precious promises and graces are not only for now or the past, but for all the days of this life. And even more He has called me by my name and I am HIS! This great Gospel means forever I am His and I am truly never alone. 

Lord, I surrender afresh this day to your plan for me and for Andrew and Nora. Thank you for how you love us now and for eternity! I chose to glory in you this day and your amazing grace, love and salvation! I chose joy today. I chose to trust you. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed by the name of the LORD! 

You are worth it and you are enough! 

The Rollercoaster of Life

The transformation has been quite incredible honestly. When I started residency I was a scared clueless resident afraid to tell a nurse she could give a patient Tylenol. To think that in 3 short years God has transformed me into a physician that was actually useful in a hospital in Kenya without supervision, or the resident who was recognized for pediatric critical care, it is simply astounding what God has done! I don’t think it has really sunken in that I am a pediatrician and no longer a resident. My sister texted me at 6pm the other day and asked if I was awake. I just had to smile because those super crazy 28 hours shifts and stretches of night shifts or 6am shifts, they are for the most part over. I’m not sure that the TV shows give residency justice as far as how hard it is. It truly is an incredible feat to survive and eventually to even thrive in such an environment. And I want to take time to praise the God who made me, who took me to medical school and then residency and sustained me in such a way to get me where I am now. His grace towards me has been truly amazing and my cup runneth over! 

            My last week of residency I was taking in all the ‘lasts.’ My last admission, my last note as a resident, my last night shift. Of course my last day was a 24 hour shift but it was a blessed one. It gave me plenty of time for all the good byes. It was definitely a bitter sweet day that ultimately left me feeling elated that I had officially survived and no longer had a pager! I slept a few hours and then the frenzy started. I had a day and a half to move myself from Lexington Kentucky to Memphis. My apartment was basically all in boxes but there was still lots to do. My family came to help, several friends as well. But in my sleep deprived and overwhelmed state I couldn’t keep track of what boxes where being loaded . . . and where my cat was. 

(Okay side note, I have two pets a cat and a dog. My dog is 15 years old this month and considering a 1 year move to Memphis where my mostly blind and going deaf dog would have to climb 2 sets of stairs every time he wanted to go out, I left him with my parents in Knoxville to take care of him this year. He’s been with them a few months this past year as well as he just doesn’t do as well with my schedule. My cat, he’s been with me all of residency and in all of my super lonely, sad, and hard days. He was my constant companion. No, pets will never be on the same level as a child or spouse or family member. But, this cat, he was all I had for most of residency.) 

About half way through packing the trailers I realized I had not seen my cat for most of the craziness. Not a huge surprise because I expected him to be hiding. But as the boxes were cleared out he was nowhere to be found. I did okay for a while at pushing back the panic, but as the last of my things was loaded and he was nowhere, I lost it. It started storming outside, of course, so mom and I put on our raincoats and walked around looking for him. I won’t bore you with details, but that is the most scared I have ever been in my life. My heart totally sank as I returned home without him. I sat in the floor totally frozen in panic and fear. The next morning, in a few hours, I was supposed to leave for Memphis. I remember praying over and over that night, “Lord, please! I can’t do this without him!” I slept on an air mattress that night facing the sliding glass door watching for him to return. We sent texts out to our prayer warriors, we put food out for him. As I laid down that night I knew my chances of sleep were minimal, even though I was already running on minimal sleep from my last shift as a resident. My emotions were running rampant and I couldn’t think clearly. But God. . . 

            In the midst of the chaos, I heard His still small voice. “Janie, he’s a cat, and I made him. He is okay, I watch over the birds of the air and the grass of the fields. And, he is not your strength, I AM.” The Truth of almighty God washed over my fears and swept them away in an instant. I was not strong, my God was strong for me in that moment. I actually slept that night. When I woke up my cat was not back and I had to face the reality that I would have to leave Kentucky without him. But I had a new, fresh peace and my faith was renewed. We finished cleaning the apartment and left. I cannot say that I was no longer afraid or sad, because I still broke down in tears again a few times, but I had ground to stand on, and I was no longer frozen by fear. I have said on here how the Lord uses music in my life to speak Truth. It is no substitute for His Word, but it can be an aide. Driving to Memphis that day with my heart still in pieces here’s what God kept speaking into me: I am God, almighty God and creator, and I am good. “Janie, I know the plans I have for you- to prosper you and NOT to harm you, I have given you a hope and a future. I am your satisfaction and the One who got you through residency and I am going before you and carrying you. Your soul is mine and nothing can change that. Keep your eyes on Me and it will always be well with you. No storm comes over you unless I allow it, and I only allow it if it is for your good- if it will bring you closer to Me. No one loves you more than I do, and I will not forsake you in Memphis. On the contrary, I want you to grow so much closer to me while you are there, and I need to be your everything. I have conquered sin, death and all that is evil, and I have chosen you to walk in that victory with me.” The Lord kept bringing verses and songs to mind allowing me to truly worship as I drove to Memphis. My joy had returned despite my broken heart. Don’t get me wrong it still hurt a lot, but I could look beyond the pain and rejoice in my Savior. I had to trust that the God who saved me would not take away something so precious to me unless it was absolutely necessary in order for me to draw closer to Him. 

            I often wondered as a child of God how He gave strength and joy in the midst of some of the horrible tragedies I have witness or been part of as a physician. What I went through in no way compares, but it was a glimpse and a promise that He is able and He does not forsake. It is when I am weak that He shows Himself strong in me. 

            Thanks be to God, He did not actually want me to go through this year without my cat. As we unloaded the trailers, he was hiding in a box in the back. But, He doesn’t always do that. And, I had resolved in my heart that I would praise Him regardless of the outcome, for He is worthy. He did not have to give me my cat back, but He did. I have been in Memphis a few days now, and am still settling in. But, I am standing firm on my foundation. I do think that this has made me draw closer to Him much faster in a short period of time than I would have otherwise. Transitions are never easy, but my Rock is secure and steadfast. I don’t know what He has for me here now, or what He has for later. But, by His grace I will seek Him first and the let Him take care of the details. Standing in church tonight singing Oceans by Hillsong tears washed over my face as I realized that is exactly where I am. He has called me out to Memphis which feels like the middle of the ocean, there is so much that is unknown regarding my future here and beyond. Yet, I find Him here in the storm helping me stand. 

            Every now and then God gives me what I would consider a life verse or a verse for a season of life. This past January while I was in Kenya He gave me 1 Corinthians 15:58. “Therefore, be steadfast and immoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” For the end of residency I clung to the latter of this verse. That all the relationships with unbelieving friends and all the conversations and events we faced were not in vain. Or even that the really sick kids that we would work so hard to save and yet God would bring them home, that I was serving almighty God and my labor was not in vain for He controls the outcome not me. Yet right now sitting in my new apartment in my new city when my life feels like it has been in chaos for a few days I cling to this verse again. Lord let me be steadfast and immovable in you. Enable me to stand even now and be light in this city. As a young child as I read through Isaiah and hear God ask “who shall I send and who will go for Us?” With sincerity in my young heart I answered with Isaiah in saying “Here I am Lord, send me.” Lord, you have sent me to Memphis, a city I never thought I would venture to. Yes, I am excited about the medicine I will learn here, but I hate these transitions and starting over. Please, Lord, help me stand firm, steadfast in Christ that even while I continue to adjust I may be light to all whom you place in my path. I trust you have me here for more than just sports medicine and I submit to your will.  

Better than Christmas

My heart is full this morning reflecting on the love, grace and mercy of our God. The past few weeks have been rather big for me. I finally had the opportunity to share our human trafficking protocol and information with our entire pediatric department in something called Grand Rounds. The Lord greatly blessed it and has brought more knowledge of how to help these victims to more people. This week I was blessed to share a Passover meal with our Bible study here and contemplate the 7 things Christ spoke while on the cross. We fixed our eyes on Him while He gave us a glimpse of His agony in bearing sin. I still cannot wrap my head around the moment when God the Father turned His back on God the Son and how that could even happen! Think about it, we in our humanity deem that some specific single sins are deserving of death by electrocution or what have you, so for Christ to pay for all sin- every lie, every murder, every time we worship idols or take His name in vain, every evil thing- he had to suffer the single worst, most heinous death possible. And He did. Only the God-man could bear the weight of it, for it would easy have crushed any of us far before it was accomplished. Yet, He did it! He suffered through it all and paid it in full! To contemplate this truly is mind boggling and humbling. My sin, each of my lies, evil thoughts, selfishness, idolatry- if He died only for me, it would have to be just as heinous a death. For my sin only is that weighty. A weight I never could have born on my own. I deserve hell, and all the evil that comes with it for I was once an enemy of God. But Christ paid MY debt! And because He rose and defeated sin and death we know that it was enough and an acceptable payment. 

The meaning of Easter, the reason we celebrate today, is far greater than our minds can understand. For if Christ did not raise from the dead, if this is only a story and not true history, then my life is not only wasted, but I am as good as dead. 

This week also happens to hold the day that marks another year of my life. 29 years ago God breathed life in me and allowed me to live on this Earth. He already had marked out for me each of those days ahead and had a plan for me to know Him. Birthdays and Christmas when we celebrate by giving and receiving gifts. As I think of things I may want for this year ahead it is a little different than when I was a kid- to be loved, accepted, to have meaning, hope, rest, peace, security, to actually be able to help me patients (especially the multiple kids I admitted just this week for thoughts of or attempts at suicide), to be able to comfort the parents of my patients, to end trafficking and all social injustice, justice for the unborn without a voice, that all people may know hope, love and peace. Each and every thing I could ever want or truly need is fulfilled  in Christ because He died and rose again! There truly is no greater gift than to know this God, My God! All problems great and small He has overcome! If I live out the rest of my days alone apart from family, without a husband, if I become homeless and hungry, I still have all I need and more than enough, for I have Christ! What a blessing and treasure it is to know Him! Praise to be God for allowing us to taste and see that He is good! This week, with everything that has gone on and everything coming up, first and foremost I am so incredible thankful and humbled to know this Jesus, that He would reach His hand out to me and offer to cover my sin and give me life! It truly is better than Christmas, or a birthday because it is the greatest gift, and I can celebrate it everyday forever! 

His Schedule

The expectation was that at this time today I would be half way home. I had a list of things to do and have been eager to get started on them once I return so that I can start another month of pediatric wards. Yet, here I am writing another blog post while sitting in a hotel in Nairobi Kenya. Long, frustrating story short, one of my flights was cancelled due to winter weather (ugh, I hate snow!) and now we are not flying out until midnight tomorrow. My stomach is a little off due to the stress that I am not dealing with very well from it all, and I am sure my sleep will not be great either. But I can already see the hand of God in changing these flights and am asking the Lord to help my unbelief. 

Of all the cities on the continent of Africa, I just so happen to be in one that I have a few contacts and friends. So in stead of flying out a few hours after arriving, I have been able to spend sometime with some wonderful friends. Today, I saw some of Nairobi and was reminded that God is faithful despite me and my lack of faith, that He always hears, and that He always has a plan that is good, acceptable and perfect. For example, Kenyan phones run on pre-bought minutes like a tract phone. We used one today to call our travel agent to attempt to rebook our flights. Though our minuets should have run out in the middle of the conversation we just so happened to be given a few extra free minutes from the phone company, right before we ran out! This allowed us to finish the conversation and confirm that our flights were rebooked. 

Tomorrow I will have the opportunity to worship along some friends here in Nairobi and other Kenyans. An opportunity I would otherwise not have had. I am trying to trust, and be still in the waiting to see what God has planned for this extra time. But please, join me in praying that our travels will go more smoothly from here on. I don’t want to miss what He has for me here in Nairobi, but I’m also ready to get back to life. 

After leaving Tenwek on Wednesday, we spend a few days on Safari. It was wonderful to see such amazing creation! These last few days have given us some time to process all that has gone on at Tenwek and while being in Africa, but I know it will still take some time. Please be praying for our journey home and for the days to come. Because of this delay we will have to jump right back in to work without time for rest. I for one, will be in desperate need of Christ to sustain me. Thank you for your prayers thus far they have been felt and I am deeply grateful!