Transition to 'student doctor'

I walk into a room for about the 6^th time that day with my notes scribbled about what disease processes to inquire of for this person. I was surprised to see a middle-aged downs syndrome woman and her elderly mother sitting quietly waiting on me. I went through my usual talk tailored to her specific health needs, but our conversation kept coming back to how God miraculously saved this woman’s life while battling pneumonia early that year. I could’ve talked to these two precious ladies all day! But I struggled in my heart to not waste the time of my next patient who was already waiting on me, not to mention the physician who was waiting on my report of this woman. What a blessing it was to slow down and celebrate with this family how God showed Himself powerful on their behalf. My fellow sister in Christ and I sat and praised Him for His sovereignty and goodness, then out the door I had to go. After about a 45 minute visit, all I had to report to my attending was that she was doing well and had no complaints today. He gave that look like why did you spend so much time in there then, but I just moved on to ask him about our next patient.

I can honestly say that the 3^rd year of medical school is so much better than the first 2! Very little studying and actually talking to patients! But, there is still this uneasiness about me regarding that which is required of me now, and this new schedule I must take on. I am still getting used to working everyday like a real person, but loving the less time studying and more time with people!  There for a while I was a little frustrated with myself, but I felt like I was just surviving and nothing else. I tend to revert back to that any time there is a big change in my life. Like no more sitting in a classroom and studying my life away anymore. But, that was one of the biggest lessons God taught me a while ago in a place called Malawi. He never intends for us to just survive. We know God has a purpose for each of us and if we are His that purpose is for our good and His glory. But where does that start or stop? Can I really just live my life how I want and know God will use me to accomplish this purpose sometime in the future without any effort on my part? I don’t think so. But rather when I am every day in His will, abiding in Him, He is accomplishing that purpose through me every day. This promise is to those who love God and are called according to His purpose. So how do we love God? By keeping His commandments (John 14:15). So through obedience (ie love) we have this promise of a life of purpose, not survival.

But even in medical school? I mean wouldn’t surviving medical school be enough? Not for a Christian, whose life purpose is God’s glory! What a shame it would be to survive medical school and miss all the lessons God wanted to teach you about Himself, all the students, faculty, ect that He wanted to use you to touch. Anyway, the point is that even while I am transitioning into the clinical phase of my education, my aim is still His glory over my education. And for the first few weeks I haven’t been living up to that. So I had to make a conscience effort to put Him first every day.  This has put so much life into each day. I don’t have to wear a shirt with Jesus across the front of it, or turn every conversation to Him. But, I have found that abiding in Him makes the difference. All I have to do is listen, care, and be attentive to the HS leading me. I have prayed with only 1 patient thus far, but I have been amazed by the amount of patients, like the lady mentioned earlier, who would open up to me. I could sit and watch the aroma of Christ change their demeanor. Even patients I was warned were normally grumpy and ‘suck the life out of you’ would melt under the love of Christ, and my attending would come back to me and say ‘wow, he’s in a good mood today.’ I have loved watching God shine!

I must be honest, I don’t live up to this every day, but I can tell you when God’s grace brings me back where I should be nothing else matters! So here I am 8 weeks into my 3^rd year and still facing this same battle each day. A battle that began as a junior in college. But God is so faithful as always, and I know He isn’t finished!

Clinically speaking, I have seen many cool things, but honestly have been a little bored with outpatient medicine. Maybe it’s just because I can’t really do everything yet, but I’m ready to do more and see some different diseases. I never thought I would enjoy working in a hospital, but I have my first shift on call at Norton Community Hospital this Thursday, so we shall see. I’m honestly much more excited than I thought I’d be. I’m ready to do and see some crazy stuff! Norton has some beautiful mountains, but man, I’m already so cold! I did find out a little while ago that I’ll be able to do 4 weeks in Honduras in January and February. I’m super excited about that for multiple reasons. I’ll get to deliver babies working in the local hospital as well as out in the village however, without an interpreter! I have a lot of Spanish to learn before then! Needless to say though, I am so incredibly thankful for what God has done and will do!