"We are the clay and You our potter" Isa 64:8

I have wrestled for a while about sharing this latest chapter in the life of Janie simply because it is so personal and not very pretty. But it’s life and if anyone can learn from it or use it to deepen their walk with Christ than it’s worth it. And I have a feeling I’m not the only one out there struggling like this. My spiritual battle has always been in my mind. On the outside I may look like I have things half-way together but truth is war is waging in my head. For a long time I never knew why I struggled so much keeping my thoughts on Christ or even on good, true things, I always assumed it was sin and I just wasn’t strong enough to give it to Christ completely. The more I learned through science classes in school I came to realize all those thoughts were symptoms of depression. Wait . . . what? . . . Me? That makes no sense. . . but does it? Then came the guilt of well if I’m really a Christian I shouldn’t be depressed, I have Christ and that’s all that...

Mondays are my super long days. I have class from 9am until 8pm with all of 2 short breaks. After class is FCA and so it has become extremely hard for me to stay another 2 hours on campus to attend. This afternoon I received a text from one of the FCA leaders. She said the leadership team was going to Montgomery Village tonight to hang out with some of the high school kids there and talk with them. She asked if I could speak to them about anything that was on my heart. Honestly, I didn’t want to, I hadn’t been having that great of a day and definitely did not ‘feel’ filled with the Spirit by any means to talk to anyone about Christ. But they were leaving at 7:30 before I would be out of class and so I thought I had dodged that bullet. Well I went on about my day and at the end of my last class we had a quiz, so I finished it and left. I had no idea what time it was or anything. As I walk out of the building, the car in front of me stops and the window rolls down. It was ...

This weekend I had the pleasure of spending time with some of my Zimbabwe team members. We all met in DC to surprise our team leader for her birthday. Its crazy how close we have become through only the one trip to Africa. A 9 hour bus ride on Friday there and a return 9 hour ride back on Sunday was so worth the short time we had together! I am the youngest member of the group by a few years and they love to remind me of it. I just honestly am so thankful that God allowed me to meet each of them! I sat at dinner tonight wondering how in the world I was in the company of such amazing people! The things that God is doing through them are, well God sized big! The opportunities and doors He is opening to them, to us, continues to completely amaze me. Actually, it is so much, and so awesome, I struggle knowing God has called me to medical school. I would be content right now to drop out of school and work with them the rest of my life! I long to become even an understudy of...